let's see how dry and tedious i can make this entry...
tuesday: the voyage begins
my dirty laundry found it's way into duffel bags and joined forces with xmas gifts to journey out to the car last tuesday. we collectively hit the road for an uneventful trip to tyler. i drank a drink with dad and mom until it was time to hit the bar with my old friend jeromy.
off to Jake's we went where i was fed my favorite beer: the free kind. in the midst of our first sex talk, i look just past jeromy to a guy who appears to be mouthing my name. he was. it was trent gauthier. i confirm that i am, indeed, beth. he confirms that he is, as a matter of fact, trent. i loudly proclaim that trent cheated at the 7-up game back in the fourth grade. that's my memory of trent.
jeromy came back to the house so that we could perform a superior raid on my mother's holiday cookie stash. it was some glorious carnage. we looked for our friend barbara on msn messenger (she's working in baghdad), but with no luck. in lieu, we delved into a couple of the family photo albums, with me carefully sidestepping those representative of my more heinous years.
wednesday: i join in the hustle and bustle. st. nick help me.
xmas eve morning, i awoke and quickly noticed an envelope on the kitchen counter bearing my name as my father stood close by shuffling his feet just a bit. inside was a card (appropriately chosen with its snoopy/beach/xmas motif) that said: i hope you enjoy your holiday..... no matter how you spend it. of course, inside was a comparatively fair chunk of change. i should preface by saying it is not my family's nature to give cash or even gift certificates as gifts. the belief is that you should know someone well enough to pick a gift for them. so i know the fact that he gave me this away from the impending celebration and that it was cash meant something. he shuffled a bit more and said: i would've gotten you a gift certificate, but i don't know where you like to buy your clothes. almost made me cry.
after i sucked back the tears, i headed for many many stores in search of the ever-illusive glitter lamp for my niece. as usual, shoppers took a turn for the ugly once i resigned myself to entering the Wal-Mart. by the time i made it to the mall, my legs had gone into robot mode in the fear that if they stopped, they would not start again. a couple of hours later, i returned without the booty and shifted some of her bday gifts to xmas (she's a new year's baby).
mom ended up working late and we were all mightily impressed as dad took the reins on xmas eve dinner, including the preparation of the vegetarian meatballs. someone got a big gold star under the xmas tree this year. i went with the family to the requisite xmas eve service, because i do like to light the
since this is the year i've become dead inside, i decided to shuffle off the tradition of attending the late service at a different church that i've gone to with friends since freshman year HS. i also refuted my father's heartfelt plea to attend a xmas eve gathering at the Stocks' house (i have two stories related to that family that cause me to want in no way to hang out with the clan) and opted to climb into pj's and flip on a christmas story.
xmas: carnage, carnage everywhere*
hot damn. we're up to thursday now. it's xmas morning. are you people still with me? maybe you should go take a little potty break. perhaps warm up your cup of coffee.
after a shower and a soothing cup of coffee, my sister's entourage rang the bell and we let them in. fortunately, the kids have gotten old enough to not become spasmodic little monsters if they don't have a wrapped gift in hand. it's my mother who keeps saying they need a wrapped gift in hand. "yes... see how great they're doing? they need a gift." NO THEY DON'T! RESTRAINT IS KEY! people just need to slow the fuck down on xmas, in my opinion.
after the smoke had cleared and the dust had settled, we consumed breakfast and eventually made the mistake of breaking the seal on ashleigh's puzzle. fucking puzzles. they're a scourge. i resisted and resisted while maintaining my grand perch on a nearby chair. then i was suckered in by a fairy's dismantled wing. several hours later, my grandparents showed up followed by mara and donnie. my grandmother couldn't resist the puzzle pull either and wound up on the floor with me for a few minutes. she even managed to get back up again without assistance.
we all pigged out on xmas dinner and then i left for Rick's bar for another night of drinking with my friends jeromy, kelly, and eric. as luck would have it, mystery drinker from the thanksgiving fiasco was at the same bar. i dodged glances hoping it was someone else until he eventually came over to kneel by our table. finally: mystery solved. he darted into the thanksgiving night because the room had begun to spin. not because i'm a completely drunken retard (though i'm sure that would've been the reason had he consumed less alcohol). no loss, but it's good to have questions answered. now i can rub it into the face of all those who think i'm wholly socially dysfunctional (even though i am wholly socially dysfunctional).
jeromy came back to the house again and we tried to locate barbara online... still to no avail. however, i did catch austin tom online so we rambled about cyberspace until far into the next day...
friday: get me out of here
...finished IM'ing with tom. slept some fruitless hours. arose. drank coffee with mom before hooking up with my sister to hunt down birthday makeup for my niece. a pile of obnoxious lip sticks / glosses / nail colors later, the kids were dropped off to meet us for lunch at appleby's. dylan bumped his head, ashleigh got pissed for being blamed, dylan farted, ashleigh picked out rejects from her salad and laid them on the table, dylan crawled under the table, then we left so that we could have a near miss of a rear end collision with a severely out of control SUV which we later followed (just because i seem to like to vehicularly follow people... see if maybe they're drunk or insane... mom seemed to be down with it).
then it was back to dallas to placate kittens and recharge my batteries for the events to be covered in a soon-to-follow post dotdotdot
* i know i used carnage earlier in the post, but it really was the singularly appropriate term for both instances.