i finally donned my fresh, new pair of rubber gloves and got down on my hands and knees to scrub the litter-infested and toilet-water-tainted bathroom floor. i vacuumed. i wrapped presents for god's sake. i tidied even.
as i was preparing to set the garbage outside just now, i decided to see if anything in the fridge needed to be dumped. goodbye mostly empty bottles of water! farewell my three black bananas! and lo. what's this? yes yes. it's the remnants of some spaghetti sauce in a plastic container. that must have been in there what... two? three? five months?!? only the team of scientists can say for certain after much quantitative analysis.
i pried back the lid and carefully peered inside. oh my ... what a dandy of a science project. there were craters, hills, and mountains shifting from lovely hues of bluish-green to varying shades of white. there were even a few ponds of some sort of clear, jellylike substance.
sploosh. out the mass slid into the sink where it promptly settled in to the opening of the garbage disposal. i dumped water over it again and again. as i did my best to ignore the spores wafting out in cirrus-like formations,
i admired the way in which the liquid slid right along leaving the specimen completely dry.
i finally acquiesced and grabbed a member of the black banana trio from the trash and put it to good use battling the monster down the drain just before flipping on the disposal for a good 30 seconds.
i hope that did it. i don't want to wake up in the middle of the night with that thing in bed next to me. or worse yet... i hope the spores i inhaled are not reproducing as i pound this out. oh... i can feel my throat closing up.