changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

hey, sugar. sometimes, you save lives.

in the comsos' never-ending quest to make sure i don't ever lose weight, my workout plans were foiled for the second afternoon in a row.

violet was busy traveling to naptown and i was vacuuming the back living room so that i would have less debris on my feet during workout time and fewer pubic hairs to stare at while doing walking push ups.

it was at this point i saw ttyki stand up on the couch (middle cushion) and mosey toward the end, placing her nose to nose with ozzy (left cushion). a couple of seconds later, i looked up to see her back on the middle cushion and peeing on the couch.

this was particularly unusual because ttyki is 100% a phantom pisser. she leaves her calling card on area rugs and secluded corners. but, by god, you will never see her doing it.

i dropped the eureka! easyclean, still running, and lifted ttyki up, expecting there to be a stream of urine pouring out of her undersides. i guess the valve shut off, thank goodness, and i plopped her to the floor so i could start removing the couch covers, the easyclean still running.

i noticed ttyki kind of laying a little on the splayed side and i picked her up and took her to the bathroom in case she needed to finish emptying her bladder. i returned to the mess and finished up. powered down the eureka!.

i returned to the bathroom to check on ttyki and i think this was the part where she was hanging over a food or water bowl, but her legs were splayed again. like she couldn't hold herself up. she had passed out and i woke her up.

obviously, things were looking grim to me at this point.

i grabbed the blood glucose monitor and took a reading. 25. that's about two percentage points away from death. and i thought, oh god. here we go again. is this it?

she wasn't making the googly eyes yet and i didn't feel the immediate need to rush her to the vet, as i have started wondering if that whole emergency-vet-in-the-middle-of-the-night thing isn't a racket. her bg reading goes up 7 points just from the stress of the ride up there and they make a killing just for sticking her on a bag of glucose.

i was also kind of feeling like she's just an old gal. 19 years this month. and maybe if this was it, this was it.

i grabbed the emergency karo and my cell. while twisting the lid, i phoned brian. i told him, i think ttyki's crashing.

i've noticed i have to speak with great energy to make so few words come out in a legible fashion when life and death is occurring.

brian responded with equal efficiency that he was on his way home. unless he needed to meet me at the vet. i didn't know. i didn't have the energy to get that far ahead.

i started forcing fingerfuls of karo into her mouth, learning just how sharp her ancient, little fangs are. and then i remembered how i had saved violet's antibiotics syringe from last week. from the time the week before when ttyki bit her face and it blew up in two places with pus. did i tell you about all that?

well, great. it just occurred to me that might be my thumb come morning.

anyhow, in a twist of pack rat luck, i realized that had been a wise decision. and so i began pumping her mouth up with syringes full of karo. she grew a little, brown, sticky beard.

i was checking her blood periodically and it rose higher each time. i was afraid to give her too much caro and make her throw it all back up. i switched over to disgusting wet cat food and she started going to town on it while i helped her stand over the bowl on her little tripod legs. because they were splayed and not because she has three of them. whatever. i'm ready to go collapse on the couch.

brian had arrived home around there somewhere and he mechanically patted my back while i cried on the toilet. lid down.

i stopped hassling the poor dear once her BG hit the 70s. which is also about the time she vomited. the first of two times. then she laid two of her patented little, rock solid ttyki turdlettes and i thought, gee, those sure do smell strong. as poo with no moisture in it generally has no stink.

now, i can't tell you if this is a side effect of too much karo or too much visiting with angels, but i later entered the bathroom to see her squirting poo water on the floor. let me tell you, it's a tricky game to know the precise moment in between a poo-peeing and fleeing where one can stick a couple of squares of toilet paper on a cat's bottom and not reap (m)any ill consequences.

this happened on at least four occasions and periodically included the birth of additional turdlettes bathed in amniotic plooid. i'm tired.

thank goodness i had vacuumed and steam mopped in between stabilization and intestinal malfunction. i also groomed her a little. i hoped the stress would increase her BG levels and i also didn't want her to die on a filthty floor with ear wax so complex, oliver said last night she had plants growing out of her ears.

i think that's the end. let's call that the end.
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