changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

don't get me wrong. i love my children.

i adore them. i think they're spectacular.

but even i have to admit there is something about the quiet of the morning. the aloneness of it. very freeing, very calming, very centering. for however long it lasts. i haven't had it in two years.


try it. see how your crazy levels do and report back to me. because i struggle a lot over here. A LOT.

the windows are open. music is playing. i don't have to worry that the sound of it is covering up the sounds of children. disrupting my auditory cues that something is not as it should be. parental hearing. very important (okay, in this household... it's totally sexist maternal hearing, because that brian is deaf and curled up inside his head 90% of the time).

so. i think this time is good for me. along with seeing and chatting with parents at school. it reminds me how to be normal. a little time and space to unfurl from my own insanity.

mr ellis has been working feverishly on some kind of work business lately that is making him come home a little later than usual. i decided to dust off the chickpea cutlet recipe last night and to make sure children had plenty to eat, i dumped the remainder of the baby carrots into hot water and followed them up with earth balance, salt, and garlic. i forgot how oliver recognizes garlic and proceeds to not like it. he did try, though. they both did. but you know what? the chickpea cutlets were the culinary stars. oliver wolfed down three and asked for more, but settled for pita chips so he could have the last for lunch today. violet managed two of them.

and then, family dance night made a long-awaited return. i don't know whatever happened to it in the first place. it's a shame it disappeared into the frazzled landslide of time that exists between picking oliver up from school and bedtime. and now, really, starting with picking violet up from school. which is why i really try to enjoy the mornings and get at least a couple of things accomplished.

anyway. family dance night. i put on the Sunny hootenanny cd, which is actually some top quality music, and we three began dancing. until oliver decided we should play freeze tag, which meant the three of us running in a figure eight through the main rooms for three minutes until i couldn't take it anymore. he didn't seem to actually want to tag. just to run. and every time i'd get to one end of the eight, i would think, "just let him tag me." and then, my seven year old self would catch a glimpse of him and get that little rush of DON'T GET TAGGED. and i would literally, accidentally squeal and take off at double speed.

the past couple of days, oliver has been going right into his classroom without incident. two days ago, he even decided to not go to the garden and asked to go straight on in. he's been taking spanish, PE, and computer classes. gardening starts today. the kindergarteners are getting special jobs for chapel this year. a large bell will be rung.

oliver said yesterday he got to draw on the computer. i'm hoping he didn't mean with a marker. he then built a motherboard out of legos. it included the brain and a fan.


violet seems to be having a ball as well. i went to pick her up a few minutes early on wednesday because of some mysterious, middle of the night hoo-ha issues and she just did not care one iota that i was standing there in her room. miss april thought maybe she hadn't seen me yet, so she said, "VIOLET! MOMMY'S HERE!" and violet was sitting on the rug with a substitute teacher and other little children reading a book and she looked at me and just fell right over on her left side and rolled around. in the meantime, harry was doing his usually mommy mourning + tears and another boy was asking me about his mommy and i was like, "uh... she'll be here in a bit." and violet finally got around to coming on out. so that's good.

this morning, violet was holding this green, carved wood frog that oliver got as his souvenir in medicine park. there used to be a golf tee-shaped stick that would sit in its mouth and you could run it over the spikes on its back and it would ribbit. so violet was carrying this frog around and she said, "bigot. bigot. fock."

do you guys have your windows explorer photo files set up so it looks like a whole mess of little books of your life with edges of photos sticking out? every time i really start looking at that, i feel like i'm watching an emotional movie montage of my life. i see babies peeking out from the pages.

i took some really bad photos and had them developed. how about that.


he thought i wasn't taking his picture. that's how i explain the partially crossed eyes.

dirty-looking baby. you can see some faint circles on her chest where she had applied some easter stickers. and they burned themselves right into her skin. oops. oh wait. that was from me taking the big part of the sticker that you're left with after the little stickers are removed and i put it on her chest. oops oops.

blurry. but i love laying down on that bed during the afternoon, especially because it's the coolest room in the house, temperature-wise, and feels a bit refreshing. and so this reminds me of that.

first day of school misery!
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