we had violet's toddler room orientation at 8am this morning. i had to sneak into the bedroom at 2am because i just knew brian would otherwise wake up at 7:30. and i was RIGHT.
instead, we all got up at some time that was so early, i can't even remember it anymore. i mean, i sat around and drank coffee even.
since killing off grades 1-4, they decided to rearrange some classes by bringing all primary inside and putting the toddlers in the portable building out in the garden. i have some reservations about this only because on rainy days, i will have to run with an umbrella to the front door, scoot through several yards inside, run with an umbrella (i hope) to the portable and reverse it getting back out of there.
they built this fancy new deck with a canopy out front of her room that can be gated off so that the kids can do works outside. inside, it is like some ikea showroom where many of the pieces are nicer than ikea. but i know that woven reed lamp is from ikea. it is cozy and modern and tastefully whimsical. oh god. i just realized that flokati rug is from probably from an animal. a flokati died for it.
her teacher, miss charlotte, is this lady made right out of a ray of fucking sunshine. and i don't know where she shops, but she always has on these nice sunshine clothes. like, i don't know, anthropologie? anyhow. she's sweet as 12 watermelon slices and this other teacher dropped right out of the sky and said her name is april and she's even quieter and more patient. to an impossible degree. after awhile, i became frightened of saying anything to my own children for fear of looking like the badger queen. which is what i am in real life. at the very least. we hear there will be some floater teacher going back and forth between that room and the door to the other toddler room and she'll be speaking only spanish. like just appearing from a cloud made of spun honeydew sugars, speaking spanish, and vanishing. a senorita angel. an angelic senorita. poof.
at some point, i brandished my trademark questionable sensibilities when i broached the topic of violet's near-veganism and charlotte indicated there was another vegetarian child in the class and i practically squealed with delight while asking this golden child's name and she said, "claire laskaris. oh, well, you know..." and i was like, "oh, yes." claire. marianne's own child. and she also pronounced her last name in a way that is not like how i pronounce it and so i suffered a double whammy of mental incompetence as i wondered if i had been saying it in my head incorrectly all this time. and sometimes out of my head.
every year we've been at the school, we have been increasingly pleased in proportion with the changes they have made with the school's acceptable foods list. charlotte said her family had been vegetarian, but she started eating meat when she became pregnant (4-5 years ago). and they prefer to eat the eggs from the four chickens they keep. so she knew all the ins and outs and indicated something along the lines that the classroom was vegetarian or near it or something highly awesome-to-me like that. and she had just installed a normal-sized refrigerator yesterday and i could put all kinds of things in it like tofu and soy yogurt and hemp milk and she encouraged bringing those things for group snacks for all the children to eat. i also informed her we refrain from processed sugars until the kids reach three or so and i know when oliver was in the toddler room, parents brought in cookies and cakes and donuts and sugar factories whenever someone had a birthday. oliver was content with an extra three scoops of strawberries or a carr's whole wheat cracker. but charlotte. she just turned the paper packet in my hand over and right there it said "Birthdays - don't bring none of that shit up in here, you guys." and then she told me how she wants to bring her bread machine up there to bake fucking homemade loaves of bread with kids on their birthdays instead.
after 15 minutes, mr ellis shot straight out the door on one of those sunshine rays to a meeting at work, while i spent the final 15 minutes of our time slot watching violet happily scoot around on the wheeled lady bug and oliver dropping balls down one of those vertical ball maze/slide things you're always seeing on the kindernet, but don't want to pay the money for yourself. violet eventually found the container with the little blob of purple playdough in it. april set her up with a tray and a cutter and charlotte said, "it contains lavender oil. i also use tea tree oil because of its anti-microbial properties. it's made out of organic flour and sea salt. so, you know, if they manage to eat some... and it's just organic because they only have the fancy flour in the bulk bins at whole foods." and i dropped to one knee and asked her to marry me.