except, they weren't dodging mine. they just weren't showing up. after calling at 8am to confirm the slot, as unusually requested, i called at 4pm yesterday to see where the hell they were because i do have other things to do in my life and he said something like, "i was waiting for you to call. remember i told you all the info in my phone was wiped out? i don't have your address." and i'm wondering why on earth he didn't just call me back at the number in his phone from earlier in the day and why didn't the person i called (if it wasn't him) ask me for my address, because they sure didn't tell me anything about losing info. actually, i thought he had said he found my old invoice. whatever. they say they can come out around 7:30-8pm. child putting down time. but whatever. let's just get this over with.
i have brian call at 8pm and they're STILL working on the same fridge that he said was "kicking his butt" at 4pm. brian declined his offer to come out ridiculously late and scheduled them for 12:30-2:00 today. i decide to skip running one of my errands after swim lessons and i dash home to make sure i'm there in time and feed kids and put them straight to bed because one of them is being endlessly cranky, violet, and oliver even went right to sleep. i clean up a little and 1:45, call again. he finally gets my address and says he called brian but got voicemail and guessed he was at work (brian confirmed he had called three minutes prior). he had 20-30 minutes on his current task and was out in ROCKWALL. i don't even know where that is, but i projected it would take at least 30 minutes to drive from there. and he says, "i was told you only had plans in the morning?" and i said, "well, plans that were scheduled." as if i enjoy spending two days of my life watching them not show up or phone.
i began making my gluten-free vegan shepherd's pie (what? it's good.) and i've got kettles boiling and the oven coming up to speed and i'm just about ready to drain the potatoes when i notice smoke coming off the back burner. but it's not on. and i'm mystified. until i remember that's where the little exhaust hole for the oven is and i look in the oven and there is something tubular, and i don't mean awesome, burning away in the back bottom corner and i'm thinking it's one of the paper towel tubes oliver's been collecting for school and i say, "OLIVER!" even though he's still magically napping and i'm thinking electric oven, this calls for baking soda. even though that rule is technically for grease. so i grab the half empty container of baking soda and sploosh and am seeing this was not a great idea as it did not really even touch the burning thing and now i have quite the fucking mess to clean up. and i'm thinking we're all going to go up in flames and it's time to do or die and i grab my half-filled water glass and sploosh, and it's just not fucking getting back there!
i think by now i have realized the flaming object is actually a silicone mat that had slipped through the rack and landed on the element and i'm thinking, "BRIAN!" because he insisted on using the oven to make tater tots last weekend. and then i remember how he always leaves the greasy mess for me to clean up and all the bakeware to put back in the oven, so i guess it was me who had put it back in there wonky and i let brian have it for admitting to always leaving that shit for me to clean up and i guess we won't have that to worry about any more because both those mats now live in the trash can.
so i finally start looking for some tongs to pull that flaming pile of toxic shit out to the front and i find a potato masher instead and whatever. throw some water up on it and it finally went out. and the place is filled with cancer smoke and everything that was in the oven is coated in white cancer film and it's just a big old god damned mess. and i start cleaning. and cleaning. and cleaning. and i'm waiting for the guys to show up. and i'm cleaning. and i turn on the vintage fan and imagine an electrical fire. and oliver finally wakes up. and violet screams for her enameled cup and quickly starts just dunking her hand in it and i go for it and it flies up in the air and water all over and the cup smashes down and chips enamel all in the water and i'm about ready to take five l-theanines with a methyl-b12 chaser.
i magically clean up as much as i can stand and mash potatoes and try out the old oven and make sure it doesn't reignite and pray i'm not baking our potato pie in the cancer box and i get a beer.
it is 3:34pm. no word nowhere no way.
why do technicians find it so difficult to just call in a timely fashion?