changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003
ms_pooka

urination training. walking to the duck pond. visiting gynecologists.

so, as facebook might have told some of you, violet peed in the potty for the first time yesterday morning. and then again this morning. it was a case of having a dry diaper when she got up and slapping her on the potty and keeping her from getting up because she's freaking out that she's peeing in the potty. i mean, that really must be a bit disconcerting wondering why on earth there is a stream of fluid shooting out of your body. anyhow. very exciting, the thought of leading a diaper-free life.

just returned from a full walk around the duck pond. that business takes over an hour from door back to my door. there were some errant, decapitated tulips on the periphery of the landscaping and by the sidewalk, so i passed a pink one to violet to occupy her time until she passed out. later, i picked her a dandelion and eventually wondered why it was all wet. and then she stuck it (back) into her mouth and so i called brian and had him google dandelions and poisonous. and then i remembered how people eat them on their salads.

those new apartments over there across the street are flying up in record time. i'm starting to think it took more time to tear down the old ones than to put up the new ones. i noticed today that the third story has arrived. so much for my dreams of two stories. they periodically have this crazy gadget over there that looks like a very large, metal, one-armed praying mantis. i think i have deduced that this contraption holds a hose that shoots out cement. i can smell the sawdust from here.

i think i might have told you how my gynecologist, dr culpepper, had popped up twice while we were out running errands in the last several months. and then, how they busted me for not coming in for an annual when i called to ask them about something else, i have no idea what. so, i went in yesterday to get it over with while brian swapped violet with me in the parking lot and went to pick up oliver from school. the nurse apologized for the paper sheet and vest, as they are in the process of making new cloth robes. i was later informed they were down to 16 because they wear out and people sometimes put them in the medical waste basket thinking it's dirty laundry and people sometimes STEAL THEM and isn't that weird and don't they know that the nurse will know they did it.

dr culpepper came in and i stroked my extremely pointed paper shoulders and told her i came from the future. i looked like david bowie in that thing. if only. she finished up her exam and said my insides were beautiful and i told her that was the best compliment i had had all day. and also that she could stop stalking me now. she said she'd see me around the mall.



i was trying to find a photo of a paper vest, but those are apparently a well-kept secret. however, i did find this sexy photo of anti-embolism stockings on a medical supply website.



we also discussed birth control, as gynecologists tend to want to do. when she mentioned abstinence, this bin door in the cabinet behind her just shot right open. she said it was worried talking about abstinence might send them out of business. she continued her talk while we both peeked at the bin and braced ourselves for another outburst. she mentioned the effectiveness of the vasectomy, but brian doesn't like that idea. it ain't natural, he says. i have mentioned to him i don't like the idea of another child. he does not believe the claim that condoms are only 86% effective, or whatever. i think he wanted me to agree, but i haven't done my research into such things.

i have been very good the past couple of weeks about my starbucks intake, but i made an exception yesterday to celebrate my pap smear. i even went into one of those without a drive thru. i actually got up out of my car and walked in there like a normal person without small children.

we dined on portabella mushroom and red bell pepper stroganoff. i had made the sauce before i left and made sure to pump the heat up under right before going, sensing that brian would come back and get all squicky about food being out. lo, he asked me while i was showering later last night if i thought i might throw up. i had no such inclination. he had already done his "research" into how the stroganoff was a hot bed of bacteria and whatnot and things about one hundred and forty degrees and i don't know what else. i ate leftover stroganoff for breakfast.

hey, we're going to austin to visit ricky tonight. the zilker zephyr is in our immediate future. maybe even the vegan yacht. or mothers. or some coffee. yes, some coffee. it will be there. you can't get it here.
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