changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

playground sadness.

well, that ripped my heart right in two.

oliver has had these mystery scabs popping up around his chin/cheeks/nose and he's a picker, so they keep staying. brian resorted to the old cover-it-with-a-bandaid approach yesterday and oliver was delighted to spend the evening with dora on his chin.

this morning, we were on our way out the door for school and i reminded oliver that we needed to get a new bandaid for his chin and i pulled out the doras and he said he wanted one of the bandaids without a picture because a "naughty girl" on the playground once told him dora bandaids were for girls. and i wanted to cry knowing he's already getting this kind of bullshit after talking just this weekend how i'm glad for the little bubble he's schooled in for as long as it lasts. let him really start to get his feet under him before people try to start knocking him about with sticks of unimportant ridiculousness.

i tried to tell him for as much as his four year old ears could take that it doesn't matter what that little girl thinks, it matters what he thinks and if he wants to wear a dora bandaid, he should totally wear a dora bandaid. he persisted with his want for the plain bandaid under the duress of the naughty girl. i've never wanted that child to wear a dora bandaid more than this morning. if he wants to cover his entire face with twelve dora bandaids and wear 10 plastic pink rings in the shape of hearts, then let's do it. let's put some fucking rhinestones up in there and bathe him in a glitter bath bomb, if he wants.

i gave him the regular, flesh-toned bandaid and we continued our conversation out on stairs.

and again in the car. i told him it's a really important life lesson and i know it's a hard one to understand when you're still a little guy. he replied with more naughty girl talk. i asked him if elizabeth said she didn't like his bandaid or if any of the other 110 kids and he said no. and i asked why he should care so much for that one girl's opinion when everyone else thought dora was fine and dandy for boys. i told him someone had probably told that little girl the same thing and she just didn't know any better and he should teach her that there's no reason boys can't have dora bandaids. i told him there are going to be a lot of people in life who are going to tell him they don't like something he likes or does and that if he's not hurting anyone or himself, there's no reason he can't be who he is. i told him he will never be able to please all people at all times... the only person he can please is himself. i told him he can talk to us about anything.

he's four, so he was mostly silent.

but man. really. what a long road.
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