but that's not why we're here. we're here because today, just now, at the whole foods market on park ln, i found AND BOUGHT:
they tell me they are the only air-puffed vegan marshmallows around. PUFFED! WITH AIR! INSTEAD OF HORSES' HOOVES!
i don't regularly check for vegan marshmallows, but when i see a basket of them in my path, i do glance. word on the street the past several years since the invention of the mass-produced, on-the-market vegan marshmallow is that they were usually purchased online, usually sold out, and always expensive.
so, i was surprised to see that they were just sitting there. right on the shelf. wearing irresistible springtime colors. they were still $6, but i was revisiting visions in my head of oliver sipping hot chocolate with little marshmallows dissolving on top. just like a real boy. i mean, they contain non-gmo soy protein, so they'll restructure his DNA a little and kill off a tiny portion of his brain, but maybe the portion it kills off will be the one that would have made him addicted to playing the Halo of 2021. so that's good, right.
on the plus side, no hooves! gluten-free (not that brian will eat them)! the company practices ecological initiatives! and they came in this indestructible bag i originally thought was made of corn or potatoes! i know it's indestructible because it refused to relent to my efforts to tear it open in my car.
upon arriving home, it yielded to the pressure of my mighty kitchen scissors. it's not exactly like a dead animal marshmallow, but who would want that anyway. it still brought forth remembrances of standing in the living room as a small child and eating a bowl of those tiny, pastel-colored, and i believe "fruit-flavored", marshmallows before bed. they were kept in one of those avocado green tupperware containers that i just now remembered we even had. it's where mom's party napkins live now.
it's a shame i neglected to purchase hot chocolate. they work well in coffee with soymilk and caffe lolita, but i probably shouldn't use that as a delivery system for oliver's share.
uh oh. it's also a shame they expire in one week. what the fuck am i supposed to do with that many marshmallows in one week.
hey there. it's now hours later and i'm discovering the short shelf life likely won't be a problem. if you need me for anything, i'll be busy adding a third trip to the gym. or making s'mores.