turns out i was not crazy when i thought i heard a tv commercial for the "fo'shizzle car sale event". it was verified when i chanced upon their matching radio ad.
i vacuumed. i polished wood (that's not a euphemism). i scrubbed bathroom and kitchen counters. i stopped just short of sweeping and scrubbing the bathroom floor by hand.
just now, it took me approximately 10 seconds and several incorrect word choices to nail down the word "sweeping", including, but not limited to, "brooming".
as a compromise to not cleaning out the litter box, i sprayed some air freshener and lit a candle.
a cat hair ball that came tearing out from under my bed and up the vacuum hose was so large, for a split second i thought i had sucked ttyki up. i am not exaggerating for once.
i inhaled so many fumes from cleaning products and the litter box that i left the apartment with all four windows wide open and said candle still aflame. i did this on purpose. cleaning has empowered me to take chances. the next time i will add to the list of potential perils ...running down the main hall with scissors in hand.