i was going to take the kids to the park after school today, so i took oliver to the bathrooms off parish hall first. he threw a GIGANTIC fit because i had pulled out a paper towel for him and he wanted it folded, or something, and i told him he didn't need to waste by getting another and he hit me with a flurry of fists and i gave him one last chance to wash his hands and he was hollering and wailing and did this thing he does where he puts the palm of his hand flat against the spigot and sprays water everywhere and i said that's it! we're going! and i shut off the water and dried his hands and picked up violet in her car seat and marched halfway back through parish hall and he was scream-crying, "wash my hands! wash my hands!" and he came out to follow me, saw me standing there, and made an attempt to start back in there, still wailing. and i continued on toward the hall where the classrooms are. and where his teacher was. and his fellow students and their parents and the head of the school and the secretary and the other secretary ...
and he follows me still hollering and i say he needs to get his lunch box, but he's pinching my thighs and butt and i put violet down and take him by the shoulders and sit him next to the wall, still throwing the fit, and i sit on the little table next to him and he finally hushes. i ask if he's ready to get his lunch box and go to the car. silence. then violet starts screaming so i stand up, get her, and tell him his sister is upset and i'm going to the car. he starts up again, but gets his lunch box and follows, fake-blubbering the whole way.
needless to say there was no park. i fell straight back off the starbucks wagon again with only a one day chip under my belt and then drove around and talked to my sister on the phone while everyone else napped for an hour.
so now he's lying in bed nice and wide awake and saying, "AH-AH-AH-OLIVER, AH-AH-AH-OLIVER."