thursday. i did not go to the gym after all. what else is new.
yesterday afternoon, after taking oliver and violet into the starbucks so oliver could pee and we could get apple juice and coffee and an uneven split of pumpkin bread, i was driving the very long way home and making my usual mistake of not doing something productive, like going to the gym, and opting instead to let oliver fall asleep in the car so we can enact world war III upon our return home. yesterday was an especially spectacular battle with me taking away oliver bedtime tv show because he wouldn't get out of the car, followed by me dragging him out of the car by the arm (remember, my other arm is carrying a baby and i have little patience for this business when it's 92 degrees outside), him sitting in the parking lot wailing, me dragging him again to the sidewalk and starting into the grand hall and him continuing to sit on the sidewalk wailing and me coming back and pulling him to his feet and walking him to the grand hall while saying hello through gritted teeth to the girl-lady who's on the board, him pulling his hand free and wailing the whole way to the vestibule and then sitting on the bottom step howling for 5-10 minutes outside ann's door while i started dinner. then, he became silent and i decided to make sure he hadn't walked down to the pool and fallen in and the second i opened the door, he jump started the wailing again with a fervor that made it sound like i beat him. so i shut the door and went back to my mushrooms and he slowly, loudly made his way up the stairs and began kicking the door, instead of just opening it, and i went to the door and opened it and did not kill him, but took him by the hand and explained he is welcome to hang out with everyone if he's behaving nicely, but he's welcome to stay in his room if he wanted to continue crying and i walked him to his room (maybe carried, because i think he started flailing at this point) and i shut him in there where he went to sleep. surprise.
this is what happens when we don't nap. and then do nap.
ANYHOW. while we were still back in the car and having good times on our drive to nowhere and sipping our respective drinks and nibbling our breads, i asked oliver some questions.
"is mommy old?" "yes." "is daddy old?" "yes." i continued this line of questioning using several other people and after he tired of it, he said, "only mommy and daddy are old." "what makes a person old?" "sadness."
i stopped speaking for a healthy handful of seconds so i could experience an existential crisis in peace.
after world war III, i offered for oliver to get up so that he would have an easier time falling asleep at bedtime. we're trying this new line of attack where you give the child options and let them reap an acceptable set of consequences and i have to say it's working rather like a charm, as long as you don't lose your cool at some point. so, i could live with him lying in bed awake for however long. not a problem for me.
he finally got up when daddy arrived home and we were sitting down to our pizzas. he asked daddy if they could make big art after dinner and daddy's yes-answer turned him all to sunshine and roses and he LOVES this pizza and THANK YOU SO MUCH, mommy, and we're going to make some BIG ART. 100% charm school.
and so while i showered myself and violet, they did, indeed make some big art. two of them even. lots of paint. they're hanging on the dining room wall. it's some of oliver's darker work. he didn't seem to mind missing his tv story, which is a double score for parents. i'm not terribly fond of him watching a tv story every night, but it has come in handy as something to not get to do if he's neglecting the elements of good behavior.
well. today is my last day working with the person i'm replacing. OH DEAR GOD.