so, i'm on the phone with the guy i'm replacing for 1.25 hours, going over this that and the other. violet does her usual thing where she eats a snack and pulls out everything we own and happens by a few times to make some racket.
and then she gets grumpy and is on my lap and off my lap and on my lap, etc, and i'm trying to talk on the speakerphone and type with one hand and write down notes and hold a baby and listen while she screams and cries. and she hits her head twice and starts crying more each time and it's getting really difficult and then i look down and she's sitting on my lap and has fallen asleep. and i'm pretty sure that has not happened in a looooooooooooooong time without a boob being in her mouth.
my call ends and i sit there, unsure what to do. i called brian to report the development to him and then i'm actually able to carry her to the bedroom and deposit her in her bed without her waking up.
i guess she's still recuperating from night before last, which was totally fucking awful. that was the day i had brought up the two political campaigns and was up until 11:30 figuring out how to run the results. it took me a couple of hours on the couch watching tv to finally fall asleep and about 5 minutes later, violet woke up. she's been carrying around a little bit of a cold and had a low-grade fever, so maybe that's what was doing it. and it was one of those nights where i felt she didn't need to nurse again (i nurse her as soon as i get in bed with her) just because she's fussing. we went through a couple of hours (during which i did try to nurse her and it didn't solve the problem) where she literally cried something like five out of every fifteen seconds. over and over and over and over. crazy-maker. i was going crazy. i was growing furious. so it's probably the three o'clock hour and brian and i are so tired (okay, brian is always this tired), i'm so tired i'm starting to drift off regardless of any ruckus and i'm waking to see her sitting or STANDING, which is obviously dangerous and i finally say enough is enough and back to her bed she goes where she proceeds to fall off to sleep surprisingly quickly. this buys us all of an hour of sleep until we start up again for something like another hour and a half and she and i finally pass right out. brian was mostly already passed out.
my calculations determined i received approximately 1.5 hours of sleep that night. i took a five minute nap in the butterfly chair yesterday during our two hour power outage and brian stayed home claiming a sore throat and napped all fucking day while i worked, baby-wrangled and made chili. that was when i hauled oliver's screaming ass out into the pouring, driving, soaking rain because he refuses to get ready in anything resembling a timely manner these days. he's distracted by a gentle breeze, so i said there wasn't time for his turn with the toothbrushes and he screamed and then he screamed more on the stairs because i said he couldn't have the umbrella because of his attitude and the fact that he is too short to shield my hairs from the rain. and i threw him over my shoulder and he writhed and wriggled and i put him on his bottom in the grand hall and he continued screaming and eventually got up and sauntered off into the rain as some kind of statement. a statement that drenched him.
we all went to pick up oliver from school. we had to make a detour where the construction is going on over a branch of the lake because the lake had taken over absolutely everything for blocks from all of the non-stop rain going on around here. when i told oliver, he kept asking if we could swim in it or get a boat and go for a ride.
brian was invited into the room to watch oliver's first attempts working the number rods. everyone up there keeps telling us how much oliver is chattering away in class this year. which is good.
we drove through the starbucks to celebrate the rainy season and i convinced brian we should go to target to get these $1.40 clearance argyle socks i missed getting the day before and we did and i saw the regularly priced argyle socks were only $2 anyway and i wound up with four pairs of them only to later realize argyle isn't a very flattering pattern when stretched out around your calf. oh well.
we also shopped for a new umbrella to replace the one that almost killed us earlier this week. the new one is black and white striped. it's a little obnoxious, but i'll be able to pick it out from the pile of umbrellas at school and brian said it reminds him of a cosmo magazine from the 90s, which doesn't make sense to me but seemed to indicate good things to him. i thought he was going to say a referee. someone around here must be a metrosexual.
we came home and slathered chili on the insides of our stomach organs and violet shit for the third time. grape sections. it always disturbs me when children take food, pass it through their entire digestive tracts, and force it into their pants looking exactly the same. i used to worry oliver might be dying of malnutrition.
oh, yes. and then there were the tornado sirens. i was sitting down to get back to work when i heard them. i switched on the tv and there it was. a tornado on the southwest edge of downtown. DOWNTOWN! of all places. we live five miles north and a hair east of downtown. the tornadoes (there were two of them, kind of like in my recurring nightmares) were headed NNE (you know, toward us) and they were mentioning highland park and university park, which are on the other side of 75 from us and i thought maybe this would be god's punishment of the wickedly rich. fortunately, the tornadic activity continued to go more north and less east and passed over love field, where they proceeded to let an airplane land during the fuss and it kept on going thataway. 35, the tollway. no 75. my family was locked in the closet with the dregs of dirty laundry we didn't remove and the cats were holed up in various bathrooms. i sat on the coffee table, right paw to mouth, and remained riveted to the tv and the tower cams and rainbow-colored weather maps, prepared to run my ass off to the closet.