well, let me tell you. it did.
brian called the home warranty people so they could send a fax to the a/c people (diversified, for my records) so brian could call the a/c people so he could leave a message so they could not call back until monday morning. thank goodness for the other, functioning unit or we would've been kind of fucked for the last couple of days.
the duo arrived precisely after children went down for naptime. i couldn't decide if that was good because children would be out from under foot or if that was bad because children might be woken up. they kept trying to poke into the sleeping rooms, which also house most of our clutter, and what is with repair people making themselves at home enough to go behind closed doors unbidden? the primary worker exhibited signs of hard living. he was thin, facially lined, and wearing teeth and nails thick with yellow. he was that type that sort of jovially knows everything. assumes he always knows more than you in what i suppose he thinks is a helpful sort of way. he told me our coils are getting dusty and to make sure to replace filters. i said, "what? about every three months, right?" and he said, "there's no such thing as a three month filter." and i said, "okay. so, about every month then?" and he said, "there's no such thing as a one month filter." he finally unveiled his pearl of wisdom that if a filter is changed once a month and is more than 1/3 dirty, replace it more frequently. i nodded and filed this under there's no way i'm going to replace a filter every two weeks and there's no way that paying for that many filters could possibly cost more than the charge for him to come out and clean the coils.
he came around to view the thermostat and vents and informed me the air flow is very inefficient, not allowing for the possibility i was already aware of this. i was told i should go on down to somewhere like home depot and pick up some replacement grills with variable cantilevers (my words!) to direct the air flow like this, that, and the other. i nodded and produced verbal indications that that was a great idea. he informed me that, once i had procured these air grills, i should take a razor knife and slice through the layers of paint around the edges to keep from ripping the paint right off the wall.
i walked him and his underling out to the balcony for them to prepare for their ascent up the treacherous mansard roof and he knew much more than i about what it takes to climb roofs and when technicians should climb roofs and how companies and technicians won't climb some roofs. my stories inciting his comments were nothing but springboards for his limitless knowledge.
when they came back down, i was informed the fan had gone out and they would attempt to procure another, but who knows that thing is pretty old and they might have to replace the whole motor if the fans are no longer made and he asked for his $75 and i asked if he could take a card or do they need a check, which i hate writing, and of course the check was easier for him, so so be it. i walked the short distance to the other room and picked a pen up off the desk and i was a fool, he informed me in so many words, because he had a pen right there in his hand. what could i have been thinking?
he scuttled off promising to return most likely tomorrow and informed me three times today would be unlikely as they have to drop parts off and pick parts up at five locations, and i couldn't possibly know much about that, and besides, it looked like rain out there.
i had made plans in my head to go to the Y this afternoon, but i don't want to get caught in the rain with two children and, oh yes, oliver did something screwed up to the living room window at some point yesterday where it's raised an inch or two and the latch is twisted all around the wrong way and this has produced a frightening set of cracks running almost the full height of the window and i feel something horrible is imminent and even if that window breaks in a controlled manner, then what? put sheets of plastic and rolls of tape across the gaping hole and expect it will keep my children from plummeting through it for two stories' worth? and so, i'm not about to try and move that window and have my face disfigured by a shower of 1963 non-tempered glass and have to just monitor the rainfall and am thereby required to skip the gym. i'm pretty sure this is a real reason and not one concocted by my limitless laziness. i'll pretend our swim in the pool yesterday afternoon constituted a full work out.
i was hoping to attend the gym three times this week, considering my hawaiian-themed, 20 year reunion is this weekend, but i have to figure out how to schedule it around oliver's four swim lessons, the a/c people's two appointments, and three estimates with window people. i was so tempted to be hilarious and schedule all the window people at the same time just to see what they would do. and to minimize the impact on my schedule. lowe's totally tried to screw with me by asking for my credit card number to charge a $35 dollar estimate fee and i told him i'd maybe call him back since the other two companies were providing free estimates and he tried to play it cool saying he had been running into that a lot lately, the competitors offering free estimates, and he'd just go ahead and waive it because he really wants to bid on my one, sad, no-frills window.
speaking of reunions. i was in a bit of a panic, as i frequently am when confronted with formal social interactions, because what on earth would i wear? i'm still toting a good 5-7 pregnancy pounds and, though i fit comfortably in my hot weather mom wear, that's hardly acceptable for a hawaiian-themed 20 year reunion. i had dragged myself down to the buffalo exchange on saturday, leaving my family out in the car, and gave up when i wasn't finding much and finally caught sight of the ridiculous line at the dressing rooms. sunday, i experienced more fashion failure at kohl's, surprise, and then we went to the galleria and i was scheduled to go to the old navy while brian let the kids play at the playland and eat their cold lunches. i only made it as far as zara and found three shirts and A DRESS OF ALL THINGS. half off at $30. i tried it on and was amazed when it zipped up to fit my upper body perfectly. i was even happy enough with the bottom half, which usually causes me dismay because i have an inordinate amount of junk in that trunk and it (along with my poochy belly and small boobs) makes me look like i have the posture of a little, chunky kid or something, in certain pieces of clothing. the dress has a halter neckline and it kind of looks like someone went and threw up on a piece of fabric and someone else took that fabric and made it into grandma's curtains, or couch, and someone else took the curtains, or couch, and turned it into a dress. perfect. i accidentally spent too much money because nearly everything was marked as on sale and i totally didn't notice that two of the shirts were missing prices and they ended up being two of the few items in the store at full prices of $20 and $40 dollars and isn't that suspicious?
so now i'm quite pleased to have something to wear and it's not even shorts and a blouse, which would have been my next option. now i have to figure out something about shoes and all shoes currently appear to either have five inch heels or be completely flat, neither of which do i find acceptable. a nice strap around the ankle would also be nice to keep them from falling off my feet or making my toes ache in order to keep them on. and no leather, thank you. shouldn't be any problem.
alright, fine. i think violet just shut her fingers in the door of the play kitchen and i should probably go check it out.