oliver started swim lessons on monday. it's his second swimming lesson summer. for his birthday, grandma gave him an envelope with a smiley face on the front and $50 on the inside to pay for swimming lessons, since we're working on being poor people now, and i decided one day last week after naptime to just pack us up and drive on up to the lake highlands Y and sign a deal. i had emailed two weeks earlier trying to align our class with the schedule of sam, the swim teacher from last summer, but no one felt like responding. so fuck 'em. we just showed up uninvited.
i handed oliver the envelope stuffed with cash and informed him he would be handing the money inside over to pay for the lessons once we were at the Y. what could possibly go wrong?
we walked to the car, drove up there, discussed the envelope ten ways to sunday, as preschoolers like to do, walked from the parking lot to the desk and started filling out our form. during this process, oliver looks up at me with a doe's eyes and hands me the envelope. i thank him politely, open it up, and... oh, hell. it's not like i have to tell you the envelope had tumbleweeds blowing through it.
i became increasingly frustrated as i tried to wheel and deal in logic with the preschooler.
"where's the money that was inside?"
"um. i don't know."
"did you take it out?"
"um. yes, i did take it out."
"where did you PUT it?"
"um. i'm not sure."
"is it in the car?"
"um. yes, it is in the car."
we walk to the car. nothing but tumbleweeds and a cowboy whistling a lonely tune.
"OLIVER. i need you to tell me what you did with the money that was inside the envelope. did you take it out? did it fall out?"
"um. yeah, it fell out."
i searched the car, under the car, the sidewalk from the car, i called two hours later to see if it had been turned in. nope. $100 swim lessons here. i predict it will turn up in a sock in the back of his closet in five years and i will have absolutely no idea what it's from. please remember to remind me.
so we got all signed up for a repeat of the eel level of swim lessons and wandered in at 10:30am monday morning. okay, it must've been 10:32 or something because that place was busting at the seams with small children. there were countless strings of them lined up on the basketball courts and a chaotic whirlwind of them around and in the pool. i walked over to a swim instructor and said i had no idea where to go. she had me walk over to the guy in the grey shirt who had me walk over to the girl in the yellow shirt who said this must be oliver and he's right here with christine.
i plopped him on the edge of the pool and then i settled in on one of the benches in the mildly air conditioned annex and wondered how so many parents could handle sitting in the pool area. i had chosen morning lessons because afternoon lessons last year were too hot (inside) for my comfort.
he's in a class with two other boys and they did all the standard swim lesson things like paddling about with noodles tied around their waists and flailing and looking terrified while being held on their backs and throwing little bath tub squirt toys and "swimming" after them.
it was swanky because violet is old enough this year to drop off in the child care room, so i get to just sit there all footloose and fancyfree, where children equal fancy.
that afternoon, we ran through central market and dodged free balloons. oliver didn't have to be removed from the cart until we were checking out and it was for twisting his sister's foot and leg up against the cart in an unnatural position more than once. what a cutie pie.
dashed home and made a shepherd's pie. my third. it looks like it's on its way to becoming a dinnertime standard, considering my second attempt reached the esteemed status of giving brian THREE helpings. violet also gobbles it up. we won't talk about oliver since his standing opinion is he doesn't like dinner.