changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

"Eating Animals."

violet won at the bedtime game last night. i think it was after the fifth attempt that we finally just tossed her out on the couch, where she proceeded to still not go to sleep and played instead. she was fascinated by ttyki, who was sleeping on the back of the couch just feet away. and brian and i were fascinated when ttyki let violet pet her, with my assistance. otherwise, it wouldn't have been so much petting as fur and ear removal. she chuckled and grunted a lot. not the kind of grunting my grandmother refers to, but happy-laughy grunting.

despite her late night partying, she still woke up a little early. she neglected to fall asleep during her mid-morning nursing session and thusly earned herself naptime in the bed. and it worked!

just as i was hooking her up, i realized the book i had gotten from darren for xmas was behind me and just within arm's reach. jonathan safran foer's eating animals.

i see now that it is time for me to fall in love with him yet again. it only took one paragraph for me to know. and then i read this:

A few days after we came home from the hospital, I sent a letter to a friend, including a photo of my son and some first impressions of fatherhood. He responded, simply, "Everything is possible again."

and then, i wanted to cry.

okay, fine. i cried a little bit.

i swear there are times i keep thinking i'm getting my period, but i'm still riding high and dry.

anyhow. that's kind of how i'm feeling right now. but maybe i always feel like that and just forget during the other times when i want to lie down and not get back up or drive away in my car or just run down the street screaming and kickboxing. i really can't remember.

but i like to think i'm finally emerging, at least a little bit, from the haze of the second birth. even though the road ahead is still in need of city funds for improvements and there are many potholes threatening to bend the frame on my life car. and i've lost my road map and could still drive off a nasty cliff in the middle of the night. and sometimes, i have to dig around under the passenger seat to see if i can find one of those bags that you are supposed to litter into so that i can throw up into it, but they don't really seem to make those bags anymore anyway, i suppose because they were designed to hang off the door lock and they no longer make door locks that are buttons standing on top of the door. remember those? i can't believe they're gone. i think it must have been too easy to put coat hangers in there and pop them up. and they weren't high tech enough for today's tech-driven society.


"Everything is possible again.".

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