changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

kids: peeing, nursing, losing weight after having them, and chewing up their fingers.

i think violet's ready to start wearing bloomers at night. because, despite nursing two or three times and having her bladder palpated, that child did not pee from 10pm last night until 8am this morning. i repeatedly checked her diaper in my half sleep, fearing her urethra was blocked with cat hairs or something and imagining her tiny bladder expanding and leaking toxic (but sterile!) urine into her abdominal cavity. and this is not the first night she's managed to go without peeing. i hope i'm not missing some kind of awesome potty training window.

when she nurses when we're in bed, she makes little rhythmic growling sounds like a hungry baby cougar. then, she gets belly bubbles and makes a grunting sound like uncle morty having heartburn at the dinner table, not that i have an uncle morty. it's super cute how babies have arms and legs flailing like little hay wired double windmills and the second they start nursing, they grow still and bend their little arms so that their fists rest under their chins. and growl like baby cougars.

i'm going to miss that baby.

we went to the gym last night. oliver and violet went to kid care and got to go to the playground because we've been having a cold snap down here. highs in the 80s! it was downright kind of chilly out there this morning. anyhow, i finally got on the old elliptical and stayed there for 30 minutes. this is mighty impressive, even if i was on one of the machines that doesn't have much resistance. i like that machine. but i cranked it up to three and four! i wasn't winded, but did break a nice sweat. it's much easier operating one of those things when you're not 36 weeks pregnant, i tell you what.

while burning 120 calories and traveling an imaginary 1.27 miles, i watched rachael ray finish up some orzo with creamy, winey mushroom sauce (never mind the chicken) and then i watched cake makers scrambling around getting ready to make their challenge wedding cakes and i wondered where on earth all that cake goes that they carve off. i've been watching a lot of cake tv lately and there's quite a bit of cake being carved off. do they feed it to the homeless? do they eat it for dinner? do they compact it and make platypus cake flipper feet with it? just tell me they don't put cake in the trash can. tell me.

on the way home, i cracked the windows until i realized it was still kind of warm and muggy out there and then i decided to crank them back up and lo and behold, i went all this time since turning oliver's seat forward-facing last spring not knowing he could put his hand out the window and there he was with his hand in that little triangle opening on the side as i was rolling it up and he started screaming and i nearly threw up as i tried to make sure i pushed the button the right way to roll it back down instead of up some more to sever his fingers. i pulled over and apologized profusely and we discussed how the window had bitten his fingers and no matter what other topic i could derail him with, it would end with the window sliding up on his hand.

all these days i've been driving oliver back and forth to the Y has taken us right past that place i mentioned once that's across the street from the raw cafe where they have scantily clad "ladies" sitting outside waiting to load hooch into the vehicles that pull into the beer barn. i taught oliver "hoochie mamas" and i've just now realized how accurate the term is, but i started thinking i would get in trouble somewhere at sometime if he ever repeated it, so then we just started talking about how they're always in their swim suits under their rainbow umbrella and do you think they're going to go swimming or play in the sprinklers. he thinks they're going to go swimming. we've also decided the pool must be inside the beer barn.

after we ate our italian veggie brat dogs for dinner, i was sitting in here with violet and heard a buzzing sound in the bathroom and oliver made that frantic, immediate noise that you make when you get the bejeezus unexpectedly scared out of you and i was infected with it because i thought the buzzing was coming from one of brian's manscaping tools that has battery back up and that he occasionally manages to put in a non-childproofed drawer and my mind's eye saw oliver's fingers being mangled up inside of it (his fingers again!) and i wailed "oh god!" at the imaginary sight and i just about tossed violet into the nearby baby swing and wondered if i hit her head through the swing on the table behind it and she was displeased with all this, but i had to run away and it was just a toothbrush making the buzzing sound. i brain damaged the baby over a motorized toothbrush.
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