oliver, miss priscilla, and miss susan laugh at a little girl.
i received the school uniform clothing a couple of weeks ago and the pants are something like 8 inches too long. yesterday, i received the 2T size of pants and shorts and the pants still look long to me. i bet they don't allow cuffing.
after he climbed out of that outfit, he decided he wanted to put on his pajamas from last year because i had bought some pajamas that afternoon for violet at the old navy. talk about a sausage in a casing.
my 37th birthday (37! is that right?) was last tuesday.
i tried to convince brian to stay up until midnight the night before and after he whined a little and then agreed, i relented and told him he could go to bed after he rubbed my feet and legs. and then, i fell asleep on the couch with violet.
we woke up around 3am to go to bed and brian neglected to wish me a happy birthday, though he later claimed he did. we woke up around oliver:30AM and brian neglected to wish me a happy birthday. he finally said happy birthday on his way out the door after i wished him a happy birthday. i have procreated with someone who does not believe in celebrating.
wow. it's been a long time since i started this. friday, august 7, to be exact. on to modern times...
i spent my birthday not feeling particularly birthdayish. even after last year's total catastrophe of a birthday dinner, i was still going to give it another go. and even invite people to watch it's demise. the four of us hauled ourselves out to cosmic cafe for our first family-of-four dining out experience. darren, paul, and dave met us there. violet's present was to stay asleep for much of the dinner. oliver's present was to maintain a level just under a complete explosion for much of the dinner. i really hope he doesn't grow up to have ADD.
to avert potential disaster, i ordered as quickly as i could get a waitress to talk to me. if you hadn't looked at your menu yet and made a decision, it was your own problem. i shoveled food with all the skill of the mighty front loader and ordered vegan chocolate cake as quickly as i could get a waitress to talk to me. i shoveled vegan chocolate cake with all the skill of a shovel billed crane, assuming they actually shovel food with that bill.
violet eventually woke up and was passed around and maintained good composure. oliver started exploding and was crawling up and down the back of his youth chair trying to kill himself and i started deciding everyone in the restaurant hated us. oliver also removed his shoes and socks on the landing of the staircase and insisted on waving a small balloon on a stick into the walkway between tables. and i was ready to get out of there before it was too late to call it a success.
i like this one because it shows the world just how much abuse i suffer at oliver's hands.
this is me and my boobs eating some cake followed by oliver eating macaroni and chreese with exuberance. that man in the back was in half our photos. maybe that was his particular reason for hating us.
i sent darren back home with the presents he had brought. he knows full well that neither he nor i enjoy giving or getting gifts in front of an audience. he will bring them again when i take him for his long overdue birthday present which will be a tarot reading in the back of a candle shop in east dallas. in that bag was oliver's new pair of high school musical sunglasses. they are the height of fancy. we scratched off the HSM part. they were in that bag because the previous weekend, we had finally made it to darren's for some sprinkler time. oliver drenched darren from head to toe with the water hose and then came back in with a nearly symmetrical grid of 15 mosquito bites. and then we left his sunglasses behind.
remember how oliver got that tricycle for his birthday two months ago? well, it sat in it's little box for ages, partly because we would forget to assemble it during times oliver was not around and partly because we knew oliver would die to ride it all the time and it's a thousand degrees outside and we live in a perpetual cloud of mosquitoes. i finally bit the bullet a couple of weeks ago and tried to assemble it, but the steering fork didn't quite fit into the frame collar. i emailed customer service for two weeks before getting a response and that burned me up because there was a three year old who had discovered he was the owner of a partially assembled tricycle and it was killing him to be told to not touch it over and over again. and the email arrived on the day (monday?) that brian said fuck it and took it to the bike shop and they fixed it for free and he went to home depot and they gave him the tiny end off some pvc pipe to replace the wheel stopper that was lost and found the next day on the stretch of parking lot between our place and the laundry room.