it's the last day of my maternity leave. how can it be? of course, it seems like ages ago that my belly was filled with a baby and seizing up on me and i was on the verge of collapsing in a hospital hallway.
and now, i've got this nearly six week old across my lap snoozing and, during her waking moments, is working hard on smiles and now vocalizations.
something else that's freaking me out is how it feels like the violet baby is replacing memories of the oliver baby. like, maybe they're the same baby and this one is erasing the past somehow. i don't know. it's complicated.
i've already made tonight's dinner (stew!) and picked up the major messes (but don't look in our bedroom!) and put on my face (but not my hair!). if only the weather was pleasant out so i could go to a park or somewhere not here that isn't stressful to take a baby. i mean, it looks pleasant out there, but i've lived here long enough to know it's all a farce. an evil farce.
we went to whole foods yesterday on a major shopping trip. i did that thing that i think is one of the top 10 bad mommy things where you set the carseat across the top of the shopping cart. i'm not sure what the big to do is, so maybe i've made that up. but otherwise, where the hell do you put your groceries? where? i had $96 worth to purchase and you can't put all that in the nook and crannies left over by a carseat sitting all down in the cart. unless you were purchasing something like mushrooms that cost $96 per pound. which i wasn't. though i did manage a bag of grapes which, upon later inspection of the receipt, cost me nearly $9. that's precisely why i try to avoid looking at prices when there isn't an array of choices. green grapes or red grapes. both more than you really want to pay. just close your eyes and put a bag in the buggy and hold a lighter to the receipt as the cashier hands it over to you.
anyway, i suppose i need to make myself more comfortable with the moby.
we dashed home, because it was already almost five and time to pick up oliver, and i unloaded the baby and the groceries and put the groceries away (but not the baby) and made phelonius friar's hungarian mushroom soup lickety split and then picked up oliver and then steamed some asparagus and made a salad with romaine, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, and ginger soy dressing (not mine... i tried to make a lime vinaigrette and there was something horribly and mysteriously wrong with it... what is up with my olive oil these days?) and discovered i had dirtied far too many dishes. and then i desserted on strawberries and cherries. and bread that tastes nice and yeasty.
tonight, we dine on smothered seitan. which looks suspiciously like stew. i'm still considering the pan fried chickpeas and cornbread muffins. especially since there's still salad to be had. and babies to be trapped underneath.
tomorrow, there will likely be mushrooms stroganoff. if i didn't still need to lose at least 10 pounds, there would be marianne's peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies made. can't have everything. or, you can, but then you'll still need to lose at least 10 pounds. trust me.