changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003
ms_pooka

38 weeks: i forget which bizarre piece of produce she was compared to for this one.

i don't know if i reported my weight from last week, but i believe it was 162. a week and half later, i was back on the heavy-handed scale on dr bernstein's side of the office being told i'd put on 4 pounds.

now, i know i'm certainly bigger than before. i can feel it. plus, with all the leftover party food, i've been a regular human trash can. but, i don't know if i'm buying four pounds. he tried to tell me i was looking like i might be 10 pounds lighter than with my last pregnancy, but i'm not sure what calculator he was using. must've come from the same store as the scale.

he agreed that i was probably carrying pounds of fluid in my feet alone. and said to forget about having normal feet because i could recline for two days to get rid of it and it would be back thirty minutes after my feet hit the floor again. that's not to say brian should stop rubbing my water balloons.

dr B came pretty close to losing his reputation for his light touch. just this morning, i was joking with brian that he had probably completed OB school only to learn his disdain for cooters and just pretends to poke around and flourishes his hands with a "everything looks good... see you next year!" as usual, the cosmos likes to punish words i say in private and he really rooted around in there. as a result of waiting for a good ten minutes while perched pantsless on the edge of the table before he had come into the room, my back felt like it was about to give and that made the rooting even more unbearable. even with him and the nurse helping me back to a sitting position, i was still certain i was about to snap my spine.

i called brian on my way home to see if he wanted any coffee and to sit through a couple of really long quiet spells while i waited for him to ask how it went. and then he was punished when i told him i was five centimeters dilated. and he said wait, isn't that pretty far along? and i wasn't mean enough to tell him i was being admitted to the hospital. i wonder if it would've worked considering i'd just taken his latte order.

officially: 0 centimeters. which is fine by me.
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