saturday morning, i ran to the farmers market in my car. i needed eggs. i somehow ended up being late and had to meet the members of my party at the little gym. attendance looked like it had drowned and then i finally remembered it was memorial day weekend and some people enjoy vacationing over their three day weekends. oh well. extra room for galloping in circles on the rainbow mat for us. the parachute came out and, for the only time ever (if you don't count beck's brother's birthday party), oliver could barely contain himself trying to run to the middle of the parachute. he always (aside from that party) stays with the adults and hangs on to the handles and walks it in a circle singing the wheels on the bus. then, when we stop and all the kids who were on top run off and then underneath, he ran underneath as well. how do you like those apples.
we took oliver home for lunch and a nap. after which, we took ourselves for our maiden voyage to the toy maven toystore. whoooo. it was something else. all those haba wooden fruits and vegetables i purchased for oliver last year plus shipping and handling were right there for no shipping and handling and fifty percent off. i purchased the only one he didn't have that was not wooden chocolate or cheese or eggs or fatty-coated sausage and that was a little bundle of felt-leaved radishes.
brian fainted over at the schleich-wannabe animal stand... also fifty percent off... and proceeded to buy himself a zoo for work. we had no luck finding the hand-cranked robot head, but we did get a set of golden book-themed spelling cards and one of a series of three super awesome creepy doll books called edith and mr bear by dare wright. we didn't get one of them because they were killing fish in it. and there's spanking in the one we did get, which brian is trying to use as a reason to have the book for himself. but, it's not like oliver can read and we can make shit up about it. though, without the punishment theme, it's a very risque-looking photo and will take some creativity to make something else out of it.
we packed ourselves up again and drove over to manufacturing drive, home of F is for Frank gallery and the temporary host to the second annual diorama-o-rama event. it was pretty toasty in the sun and even toastier inside a packed gallery being cooled by exactly one tiny fan over on the far wall. pretty quickly, i began feeling like i was dying. and i didn't have any free beer with which to soothe myself. our mingling consisted of spending no more than five minutes each with paul and erin and the dave/daryl combo. brian bid $50 on a scary doll diorama. neither of us knew that in order for it to count, we had to pay with literal sweat and stay in the oven until the end of the event. we figured they could just phone us up on our cells or emails. oh, well. [update: he won after all. despite his utterances that the diorama would live at work, it continues to sit on the bookshelf behind me. oliver likes to look at it and say: "what's that? a diorama."]
as our life forces began petering out, oliver wandered over to the life-size diorama used for picture taking and started slithering around while i held brian's beer and violet in my belly and a bag with oliver snacks and tried to hold on to oliver's ankle and convince him with rational words, a language he does not speak, to stand up and be a civilized being. brian returned with a photo ticket and oliver got his picture took. then he spent time rolling on the floor and kind of up on the feet of the girl printing out the photo and i started becoming convinced that he might be getting struck with the heat sickness. and then he rolled on his back and off of his face and smiled and i knew it was more a case of the toddler sickness; but, this did not cancel out my own personal heat sickness, nor brian's. and so we ditched and went over to cosmic cafe for more toddler heat sickness shenanigans. that child can increasingly not sit still.
the weather had been threatening us with thunderstorms for days, but continued to fall impotent in its delivery. we decided sunday, with its modest temps and promises of keeping people out of our way with church activities, would be the day to shit or get off the pot at sandy lake amusement park. it had been a year since our first trip there and the weather is starting to get too warm and our lives too nearly infested with infants to put it off any longer.
apparently, muslims do not formally practice their religion on sundays and i think i accidentally crashed their picnic pavilion with oliver's lunch. we had a failed naptime on the drive up and he was having difficulty consuming food while sitting right next to the whirling wonderment of sandy lake. brian left for ages to poop and then decided he needed nachos. we left him to wander around a little and purchase our bargain book of tickets. last year, oliver was still pretty wary of the rides, so i was nervous he might make a super sad face like he did riding in that little race car.
the first ride was the boats and he was the only passenger. we showed him how to ring the bell and then he spent most of the time with his right arm anchored with uncertainty to the back of the seat. it was hard to read his face; but, at the end, we caught him ringing the bell a couple of times.
i think the next ride was the race cars. he did pretty well on that one.
after that, we coaxed him on to the tiny, dragon rollercoaster he had chickened out of last year. brian somehow managed to squeeze in there with him and the second that thing took off, my mother alarm went off and screamed that this was way too scary and wondered how i would go about getting him off there. but, he loved it. rode it twice, even. dinosaur cars.
then, since the carnie had finished his hot dog lunch, it was straight to the horsies. fortunately, this meant the carousel, as oliver had yet to spot the very sad and very real ponies walking in endless circles with tears in their eyes. i went with him and prayed i wouldn't get some kind of pregnancy dizzy sickness and i didn't. though, i've been having weird mini anxiety attacks and one came on toward the end and made me want to get out of there right away. oliver had a hootin' good time. there was a lot of "whoooo! whoooo! whoooo!" followed by "hold on tight! hold on tight!" i'm guessing he got that last one from me.
i believe the fish ride was next. for such a tiny ride, those fish certainly did bounce up and down with supreme vigor. he was getting pretty ballsy at this point and began to refuse to leave the ride area, so we handed over three more tickets and he switched from the orange fish to the blue fish and then it was tossings of oliver over the metal gate trying to get him out of there. the same thing happened after the second ride on the dragon cars. brian tossed him over at me and i was nearly beaten about the face and abdomen by flailing feet, like we were in some kind of no holds barred cage fight match and brian's weapon of choice was toddler-sized vans. i lost.
we rode the "big train" twice.
oliver was starting to crack up pretty good at this point due to the lack of sleep and the surplus of excitement. i handed the remaining five tickets to brian and he rode the zipper, or whatever that thing is called. my heart was torn from my chest three times upon our retreat to the car as i watched oliver's face over brian's shoulder sob and wail over his extraction from fun town.
he fell asleep in the car. so we went to target and i shopped for izze and toilet paper and a night gown to wear post-birthing process.
monday was another big day. it was oliver's first trip to the angelika. we scheduled ourselves for the first showing of the documentary earth in hopes that there would be few attendees and they would be more accepting of young children. we were running late and i finally realized this was a good thing, having forgotten there would be 15 minutes of previews. we still got there for the previews and this burned up much of oliver's attention span. about 10 minutes into the feature film, oliver had already run through the ABCD crackers and the pretzels. he had decided to stand and drape his arms over the back of the chair in front of him. which was also like two seats away from one of the few other patrons at the showing. when he started trying to talk to him, we relocated to the other end of the row. this didn't work for long and i finally just took oliver out of there and let brian watch the movie.
oliver was super into talking to the ticket taker and she was very patient as he tested to see if she knew all what all the large numbers were which marked the theaters. after going downstairs and back upstairs and back downstairs, i finally got him out of there. however, the night before, joanne had let oliver pick two of her impatiens, despite our disapproval. toddlers don't know one set of pickable flowers from 500 sets of unpickable flowers. and wouldn't you know there were two beds of identical impatiens outside the theater. it was impossible to redirect him to an appropriate activity, so the new activity was to carry him back to the car. i soothed myself with the starbucks drive thru and noticed upon my exit that oliver was out like a light.
i drove by the park on park and made a slow pass by white rock lake. npr was playing interviews with WWII vets and every 15 seconds was another heart-breaking story of atrocity and loss. i managed to not make tears until one 80 year old talked about returning home and how his mother sent him to his room to undress so she could see for herself that he was still in one piece. if you didn't hear the broadcast, well, sweet jesus. it was phenomenally upsetting.
i met brian post-documentary at the urban outfitters so he could make a return and so i could try on four shirts that made me want to run out of there screaming. we went home and brian took oliver down to the sidewalk to fill up that pink tub he got from the hospital when he was born with water. they made rivers in the parking lot and oliver came back looking like he'd taken a dip in the pool.
post-wet clothing change. he can work that puzzle 100% by himself!