my heart monitor arrived via ups yesterday just before dinner (vegan pine nut alfredo with mushrooms, olives, and asparagus). only took 4.5 weeks. i was so agitated, i just continued to become more agitated. you have to go through this set of directions before they call you to set it up. i became pissed that the instruction pages were not arranged properly, so i had to keep turning them around every time i flipped a page. i was irritated they wanted you to have a phone. we have one, but only the packet8 phone my boss sent last week. and, of course, it doesn't use a standard phone cord. and they wanted it in the bedroom, but didn't explicitly state why so i could troubleshoot. did i even need the phone or just the phone jack? then i was irritated because i'm going to look like a fucking robot geek with three wires bubbling up out of the collar of my shirt and terminating in a piece of equipment the size of a deck of cards hanging from a fashionable cord around my neck. along with this, i have to tote another device the size of a circa-2005 mp3 player everywhere i go, even room to room or it will start beeping. i feel like i'm on house arrest. we tested that last bit out immediately and determined they think i might live in a mcmansion, because it didn't mind me going to the other side of our decidedly un-mcmansion-like condominium.
i was irritated because i think it's safe to say the cardiologist's office neglected to send in the order for weeks so now i have to wear this thing to brian's birthday lunch, oliver's valentine's day party, brian's birthday dinner, valentine's day dinner, and yet another grand return to the gym tonight (we really are going tonight). and it will not exactly be invisible being all pressed against my shirt by little violet there.
i calmed down a little talking to the tech, because it wasn't her fault.
we had to take two baseline readings while i sat still in a chair. i was trying to be calm and collected and looked down to see ttyki eating ozzie and juana's food. she's recently moved out of the front bedroom and basically told them to fuck off because she's going to spread out in the sun by the back door and eat their food and wipe her butthole on my kitchen counter and who knows... maybe even use their litter box. the weird thing is .. they seem to be letting her. ozzie! letting another cat eat his food! he even makes juana wait. i saw him harassing juana while she was just trying to get a drink of skanky cat water for crissakes!
so ttyki, the recovering diabetic, has decided she doesn't want her diabetic food anymore and is sitting there at my feet eating non-diabetic sugar food. and i had to sit there quietly, not moving. ttyki is obviously smarter than some might think.
she's also been trying to lick my bowl after i finish eating coconut ice cream. she'll have to chase it with a syringe of insulin.
oskar threw up his breakfast this morning. i wonder who'll be next.
oliver watched his first episode of mr roger's neighborhood this morning. who knew it came on at 5:30am?