changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

oh my god guess who just put himself down for in the crib for the first time ever. in a heated room.

if you had asked me, i would have first answered "ttyki". then "oskar". then "juana". then i would have said "god help me if ozzy is in there". then i would have said "can beany even jump that high?" then i would have said "brian, you are way over the weight limit get out of there now, please." and then i would have said "is dave here because he is also way over the weight limit." and i'm pretty sure it's not me unless i'm having another one of my dizzy spells and it's gone too far.

he was grumpy as usual and nursing only got me so far and i set him in there and he gave me holy hell for it and i tried leaving him to his little stack of little books and he piped down the second i was gone and then he talked and read to himself for 15-20 minutes and then he got pissed again for a few minutes and i walked in there to get him and saw he was lying down and i tiptoed quietly backwards and then he piped back down and i could tell he was making that noise he makes these days when he scrunches his whole face up and then maybe there was another cry or two and then he was OUT! for the first time ever in his crib! and i'm pretty sure it wasn't letting him CIO because he's 18 months on friday for godssake and should know by now that i haven't abandoned him to be eaten by wolves or ttyki or anything.

i hadn't been trying to put him in there the last couple of weeks because, during a pre-thanksgiving cold snap, we discovered that you can turn on the heater in the bedroom, but you will wake up to a sub-tropical heatwave until you flip the breaker. our unit is ridiculously installed in the ceiling of our closet which means i have to pull everything off the shelves in order to have room to remove the access panel and all this stuff was being housed in the crib. i dallied for a week regarding calling the home warranty people to send someone out and then it took something like two days for them to contact me just to set up an appointment and then it was tuesday before thanksgiving so they wouldn't come out until the following monday and then they wouldn't even give me a time window so the whole day went by and they didn't even call me despite me calling them at 2pm to give them my cell number so i could at least go to whole foods and then i totally lost it at 5:30pm when i called and the office was shut down because that is really uncool and what if i had taken the day off from a paying gig and all and i left a message and then the workman (steve?) called at 8:30pm to see if he could come out and we said no the baby's going to sleep. and the girl receptionist called the following morning and gave the lamest excuse that brian's name was on the work order, but that made absolutely no sense and he hadn't gotten a call and then i waited some more and called again at like 3pm or something as i was about to stop at a park so oliver could play and she was all let me call and find out and oh he's in richardson and on his way and i bet he wasn't on his way until i called so no park for oliver and steve finally came to our house and decided to install a new thermostat (which we already knew would happen because ours is like 40 years old and the dial had begun to spin freely with abandon).

so he went out to his truck to get the fancy new low-end digital thermostat because they probably don't even make our kind anymore and he would have to go reclaim one from a demolished building or something. and then i nearly died two times because i went in to check on him just as he was on his way out from MY BATHROOM which had previously had the door closed because ttyki had puked everywhere and i had not yet cleaned it up and it was a mess besides that anyway because it has turned into a cat bathroom instead of a people bathroom and who on earth goes to a stranger's home and helps themselves to a closed off bathroom anyway? and then, as we were standing there at the hamper he had scooted to the side looking at the thermostat over it, i noticed a pair of MY BESMIRCHED UNDERPANTS had jumped ship and were sitting there on the floor looking at us and we both did our absolute best to ignore the underpants elephant in the room and i kept telling myself then and after he left when i was screaming into the phone to brian HE WENT INTO THE BATHROOM IN OUR ROOM AND MY DIRTY UNDERPANTS WERE ON THE FLOOR how it was a-okay because i would never see steve again anyway so who cares what he tells his hvac buddies?

and then, the next morning, we awoke to sub-tropical temperatures and knew the relay switch needed a-replacing and when i talked to the receptionist girl to give the gate code, she promised someone who wasn't steve was on his way. i had managed some time to vacuum up stray litter and scrub the crusty puke and put the stack of empty toilet paper tubes in the recycling and bag up brian's dirty kleenex overflow and experiment with locking the door and seeing if i could unlock it with a bobby or safety pin, but i was out of time for that last one.

and then steve showed up. and the toilet seat was up again after he left. WHO DOES THAT?

oliver is still napping.
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