changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003
ms_pooka

civic doodie and toddler mayhem in okc.

i just got from voting on proposition 1.

dallas is in the process of planning out this fancy, gigantic park area on the trinity river (which isn't really much of a river, usually). then, someone decided putting a high-speed toll road down the middle of the levee would be a super idea. true that it's good to relieve all the congestion around downtown, but to put it in the park? nah.

so prop 1 was putting the kibosh on that. i listened to some of the debate on this series on npr last week. one other thing that helped me decide was the yard signage. those in favor of killing the road (in favor of a meandering, low-speed road) had signs saying: "VOTE YES! Don't let them put their toll
road in our park." and those against killing the road had signs reading: "VOTE NO! Save the Trinity River Project." very deceptive, no?

then, when i got into the "booth", i realized i should have checked to see if there were any other propositions on the ballot. because there were about twenty and i knew nothing about them. i left several blank. for some reason, there was a proposition 1 which didn't seem like the one i was there to vote on and i started to panic that they had really jacked up the wording and i was afraid i would vote incorrectly because i knew the voting yes and voting no were confusing already. and i had a baby who was wiggling and wanting to sway the plasticized cardboard partition back and forth and i was trying to read all this confusing lingo and then i finally found proposition no. 1 on the back, which was what i was there for. and then i panicked some more that i would vote incorrectly because i couldn't remember what all those yard signs said and if it was the yes or the no that i had deemed as evil.

i got it right.

then we drove down the street for our traditional post-voting murray street coffee shop stop. they're tearing down The Door across the street from there. it was an underage club that was always bustling and supposedly, somehow, christian based, though you wouldn't know it to look at the kids hanging there. it moved down the street and now, in the old spot, they're putting in a giant parking lot. classy.

oliver pooped in the toilet last night accidentally and only because i was trying to lure him into the shower and i've finally figured out that those pained expressions mean something's coming through and then he made a little fart and he'd already tinkled on the floor, so i scooped him up and barely got his buns over the toilet before his lunch came rolling out. he was not as pleased as brian and i were. he never did get in the shower. i can't figure out if i've ruined him on it because he saw me with wet hair last time. he started wailing the second brian started taking his clothes off in the other room. we've created a bathing-phobic child. maybe once i've finally covered up the litter box with the ikea table and table cloth i finally finished sewing and have painted the wall and peeled the white off the lavender tub, he'll be happy to splash in the bordello bathroom.

this past weekend was spent in okc. we were wondering why brian's mother had decided to move the birthday party of the nephew of the hoodlum son up there instead of down where they live, especially considering it was also her husband's birthday and then we figured it out when we heard she was taking the nephew to visit the hoodlum son. i have i ever told you that story? good lord, it's a long one with some choice bits. anyhow, we got to brian's non-hoodlum brother's house late friday night.

brian's brother has a sunken living room, meaning each of the three means of egress require a step up. oliver is king when it comes to stepping up and he looks like a marionette when it comes to stepping down. at some point, i left oliver in a bedroom with brian while i went across the hall and into the bathroom. that's when i heard one of those sickening thuds that mean your child has just jacked something up, namely his head. i ran out of the bathroom and brian ran out of the bedroom and we saw oliver face down on the tiled living room floor wailing and i said: "BRIAN!" and brian said: "i thought you were watching him!" and i said: "i wasn't even in the room!" and the baby had this weird, blue line running down the middle of his forehead like he had hit the edge of the adjacent step on the way down and i felt more and more dismayed imagining that tile squishing through the tiny bit of tissue before smacking into his cranium. but he seemed okay, as per usual. he smacks his head more times in a day than i can count anymore. he even managed to split his lip twice in one afternoon last week.

after that, we three took the long route to find some coffee in downtown okc so oliver would nap in the backseat. when we returned, he played for awhile with the nephew (ben) and i actually agreed to leave oliver with grandma even though i was pretty sure he might be broken upon our return because who other than his mother is going to be willing to follow him every two seconds when he steps up out of that damned sunken living room so that he doesn't bust it coming back in again? we found this awesome place in a strip mall called something like "HEALTH CENTER" and it had all these products i didn't even know were still made because places like whole foods and kroger refuse to carry them. things like tree of life smoked tofu and wham! we also purchased hemp milk for the first time and found some awesome organic chocolate with super simple ingredients processed in a factory using green energy.

the baby survived.

the evening grew more and more chaotic as more and more people arrived for ben's party and i declared it beer o'clock. and then bridget (brian's sister-in-law) poured clamato into her miller lite and i couldn't believe my eyes and then brian accidentally took a drink and almost threw up and was glad he didn't remember that the cla- in clamato stood for clam until i told him later.

both of pappy ken's (my secret name for brian's stepfather) children were there along with a girlfriend, a husband, and two sons. brian's aunt and daughter and granddaughter and granddaughter's deaf friend were there. we spent time trying to get oliver to nap in the back bedroom, but since it was the last stop on the noiseline back there, it didn't happen.

[oliver is jacking with the stereo and just made a hispanic radio station come on and then he started dancing. oh god, he did it again. i have a tejano baby.]

people wanted to feed him ice cream and cake and god knows what else. ben, the two year old, ate two bites of a hot dog, two pudding cups, and a styrofoam bowl filled with sugar. when he was following grandma to get that second pudding cup, oliver was following behind. ben was feeling territorial about the pudding, turned around, and pushed oliver backwards so that he hit the back of his head on the tiled floor. WHY DOES MY BABY KEEP GETTING THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF HIM?

everyone finally left and brian put oliver in bed and then we ate pillsbury halloween cookies and drank beer and talked about bridget and daniel's night with the disposable cock ring and how unschooled bridget has managed to be with the sex lingo all her life and since daniel was embarrassed about the cock ring, i made sure he knew brian and i had pictures being made in our heads.

sunday, we dashed over to the home of brian's childhood friend to see their scrunchy, new one month old son and super-hyper dog. ben tried to give some kind of running tacklehug to oliver and knocked him down and hit his head on the leg of a bouncy chair, i think. he cried, but at least this time there was carpet involved.
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