changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

ear dweller, state fair, beantastrophe.

i've had this pesky soldier camped out in the interlabial folds of my upper right ear for the better part of the last week. it drives me a little nuts when i inadvertently stumble upon its campsite and then accidentally stir its home fires with my finger. brian went on a little manhunt a couple of nights ago because i wanted to at least know what kind of face it wore, but it was resolute in its determination to not be found out and so it hid in the deepest recesses until the threat expired.

after the little gym saturday morning, we decided to swing by the farmers market since we'll be out of town the next two weekends. the christian egg farmers don't open until 10am and since the weather was absolutely smashing, brian suggested we take a table on the patio outside this little mexican restaurant that's right there on the premises and have some breakfast. i had three pancakes, he had three egg&potato taco things, and oliver had toast. i threw a couple of pieces of toast to these three pigeons that were working for their money and then realized i had probably made a mistake as a horde of multi-specied birds dropped from the sky and formed a mob and i wondered if the other handful of patrons were over there thinking "stupid bitch. feeding the birds is against health code regulations. they'll poop where we eat." so i was super vocal about "whoops! shouldn't have done that! where did all those extra birds come from! whoops!" the hangers on to the original pigeons finally cleared and then brian started feeding them toast.

we went ahead and walked a produce shed or two and loaded up on garlic, eggplants, red bell peppers, grapefruit, and mushrooms. we stared at the stalls full of giant pumpkins before heading back into egg town.

we got our eggs and went back home to nap. i napped!

sunday was the big day: texas state fair day.

after getting up and feeding the baby and getting ready and giving the baby a nap and feeding the baby and packing the giant, green bag, we were off for fair park. i have this tremendous parking lot luck and we scored the last spot just under the I30 overpass. it was a little warm, but with a cool breeze and partial cloud cover.

we ambled a little aimlessly for a few minutes without a solid gameplan and then i suggested the new skyway as an indicator to see if the baby might handle the country's largest ferris wheel a little better this year. brian bought the five thousand coupons required to buy the token required to get on the skyway, only they didn't take the token so we were like "souvenir. put it in my pocket." you had to queue up on this little half circle platform where the cars would come swooping in at you at top speed and then kind of slow down so you could run and jump on there with your stroller like a hobo catching a train and it was very high stress. then we were on there with just one other person, i think, because we had a special stroller car. it was very fancy and i kept waiting for our car to work it's little steel hand free of the cable and plummet us to our inevitable deaths or mutilations or both and then we were safely 1800 feet away and zipping down to the other half circle platform where we were informed, while still in motion, that the tokens were not souvenirs but our ticket to ride back to our origination point. so we were oh-shitting and searching our pockets to find the tokens so we wouldn't be kicked off the moving skycab and into the arrangement of potted flowers just past the platform and then we were off again. oliver was totally cool with it and, as usual, was much more interested in just trying to get down and find a way to fall out of the skycab. and then we were plummeting down to our origination point and eking around the platform and flying out of there with the stroller and making the attendant nervous because i think i could have lined it up better to miss this little gap that might have swallowed oliver up whole.

we became aimless again and then brian decided he needed a cone of FRYS. and then we decided we should walk all the way to the other end of the fair to watch ladies dancing with dogs, but we got there 10 minutes early and it was sweltering in the stands and we asked each other how people would survive had it been the weekend before and 10 degrees hotter outside and we didn't know the answer to that, especially me because i disdain the heat. brian's arms were totally glistening with beads of sweat and oliver fwapped his little hand down the right one and made a sweat sheen all up in daddy's arm hairs. and we were grossed out. and finally the ladies and dogs started dancing, but there was a column kind of in front of us and unless you've got dogs dancing within a 12 foot radius of oliver, you and your dancing dogs might as well be invisible. so we said "enough of this" and "excuse me" and we were out of there.

we skipped the birds of the world show which we've taken oliver to the last two years (once in utero and once before he could get down and walk away from us which meant we could hold him prisoner). with the defeat of the dancing canines, we admitted defeat to the birds of the world and went to a place over by the swan boats on the lagoon where brian could poo instead. i suppose that was when brian suggested we go to the women's museum which was all the way directly by the entrance to the fair. so we went. oliver didn't care about the kiddie science show and, after the elevator dumped us on the second floor, we couldn't figure out how to get to the third floor where the old hollywood film costumes were on display. so brian went to poo and i chased oliver away from lights in the wall of the hallway.

oliver was starting to break down into his component parts and we decided we had better hot foot it over to the texas star before he became a cloud of carbon and oxygen and nitrogen. the line was short and once we got up to the platform to wait for some cars to unload, this carnie lady became totally smitten with oliver. and so did the carnie man sitting a few feet away from her. she tried to high five and peekaboo and hold the baby while oliver alternated between flirty and shy. then we were on board with only one other passenger and oliver could have cared less that we were flying up hundreds of feet into the air to meet our imminent demise once the car detached from its bolts and dropped us like a lead weight in a vacuum chamber. he just wanted to get down and try the door latch or maybe find a way to squeeze through the gap between the top of the seats and the bottom of the "protective" cage. but at least he didn't cry and shriek and wail and simultaneously crack my heart open.

he was, however, totally losing his cool and kind of crying off and on like a crazy person once we had disembarked. my offer for brian to find some maniacal contraption to be flung forcefully about upon dissipated and we started our trek BACK across the entire park. i finally had to change shoes because i had two, angry blisters boiling up and couldn't take it any longer.

brian took us to the taco bueno drive thru for dinner and was happy as a clam about it. and then we saw the strangest, most retarded thing: the taco bueno had a double drive thru. "a double what?" i know, i know. it's a new location and i guess it must be equipped with the latest technology in drive thru science and we shook our heads as we slowly entered the hairpin turn and i shouted "go right!" because the guy on the left had just pulled up to the talking box and the guy on the right was surely almost done. and then, as we sat there waiting, three carloads of people which were once behind us were now in front of us and we were pissed at this ridiculously unfair system and began wondering how on earth they would know who had ordered what since we were now all mixed up in the drive thru chute.


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