i went to see it when it opened at the deep ellum film festival. then, i strong-armed darren, the hater of halloween dress up, to go with me to the party monster halloween party at this horrible little place downtown called Club Blue. we got weirded up in our party monster attire and headed on down. it was the first and last time we would cross its threshold.
*look at me. i'm carrying a panty purse. i must be two feet tall. ps: i was long ago forbidden by darren to ever post any of his in-costume photos.
we drank and drank. we drank so much, we lost count. i stared at a topless, svelte, bald man wearing fishnets and heels and posing on a cube. i met what i believe was an original club kid in the bathroom who commented that she was impressed people had put out so much effort. we hooked up with these two guys dressed in moulin rouge attire. darren made out with his. i danced with mine. he fell off his heels once things really got underway.
*mine's the one on the left. he wasn't wearing pants. or a shirt, for that matter.
i think this was the bathroom lady.
there was another couple there who was presumably straight. he was dressed as a very ugly nurse and seemed rather short from where i sat on my perch of six inch platform samba shoes. she was dressed in a hospital gown from whence a length of aquarium tubing filled with fake blood snaked. it was attached to the belly button of a baby doll. they were busy schmoozing all the gays and hags and everyone in between because they had their eye on the prize. and the prize was $500 for best costume. it was going to be a tough road considering the sheer volume of queens present who were going to be judged by the queens of queens: james st. james and richie rich.
at one point during our drunken dancing with the moulin rouge ladies, i felt a hand trailing down my back. i turned to see maternity girl dancing with nurse boy next to us. since none of the super stars who were supposed to show up were showing up (like natasha lyonne and marilyn manson) except for wilmer valderrama (who found no end of delight calling himself DJ Wilmer), the costume contest was finally underway. the queens filled the stage and the nurse and maternity girl had to climb up the front of the stage and over a metal bar to even get up there (it was a little unsightly). then they had to force their way to the front to convince the reigning queens to even count them in the vote. many gays were angered when the crowd voted the couple as winners.
we hung around for awhile waiting for marilyn to show and finally trudged wearily out of there at close to 4am. the fishnets had become embedded in the soles of my feet. he did finally make an appearance, but this girl was in bed by then.
fast forward approximately 7.5 months later.
i've come down off my party monster high and am living life-as-usual again. a friend sent a request to be added as a friendster friend. i was, by no means, a friendster whore and hadn't been on in awhile. i logged on to add him, added him, and then must have hit the gallery button. because, lo and behold, a list of mens from dallas popped up on the right hand side of my tiny, little computer screen. two or three userpics down, i spied what appeared to be a bottom. i did what any god-fearing, young woman would do and clicked on it to verify. yes, it was a bottom. i clicked again to go to the page showing all photos to see if there were anymore bottoms. there weren't, but i did find a party monster halloween party photo of maternity girl and ugly nurse. lookie there.
his name was (and still is, for that matter) brian and his profile showed he was just looking for friends. as far as i knew, he was still in a relationship. this was important because i am not someone to randomly email strangers on the internet and i certainly would not have done it if i thought i would come across as someone who was flirting.
so i sent an email.
i don't normally go around contacting complete strangers, however...
1.a friend recently added me on friendster
2.i went on friendster to add him back
3.i clicked on some random button
4.a list came up containing a picture of your ass
5.i clicked on your ass (what can i say? it makes for a good attention-grabber.)
6.i felt compelled to electronically scream out: "i 'know' you guys from the Party Monster
Halloween Party!" i think you won the contest just before the bottoms of my feet became permanently imprinted with fishnet.
he wrote back right away:
ah, you remembered :)
yes, that was such a lovely evening. marilyn
manson was supposed to be judging the contest and
i was certain we'd win with our little newborn
baby/nurse/patient costume. i was pleasantly
surprised that the crowd saw fit to vote for us
when ms. manson failed to show up. he's such a
fussy little queen.
i've been meaning to write about it on my website:
www.BullshitAndLies.com. i have some adorable
pictures. sorry, i'm a shameless self-promoter
(but, really - who else is going to do it?).
hmm...unfortunately, miss amanda (my former
partner in crime) saw fit to take a job in sunny
hawaii and i couldn't leave my home and 4 cats and
friends, so i'm still here.
i recently had a run-in with a rather malicious
woman and the result was a band called ICKY. i've
never sung before, nor have i ever played an
instrument, but haven't let that stop me from
making truly atrocious music. i plan to re-post
the ICKY story on bullshitandlies.com. i took it
down because the aforementioned malicious woman
threatened to sue me if i didn't. hmmm...i'm
really very sweet. i just don't like mean people.
anyway, i'm glad you wrote. feel free to write
whenever you like. i'm quite harmless, just a bit
chatty and i have a bad habit of taking my clothes
off in public.
ok. i think that's enough words for now.
p.s. what's the story with the fishnet? sorry, if
i should remember...i spent $100 of the $500
costume contest money on our bar tab, so i
was...uh, a bit intoxicated.
though he claims to have no recollection of this, it wasn't long after that his status changed to include dating.
fortunately, brian had no memory of me from that long ago night. we emailed back and forth a couple of times over the next several days. just when i thought i was annoying him and decided to cool it, he asked if he could call me. i nearly tinkled in my pants at the thought of having to actually speak to a virtual stranger (or a virtual friend, in this case) on the phone. the emails have somehow disappeared into the ether, but i decided to come clean and let him know he could call me, but he should expect to carry the conversation and not be surprised if i puke on my shoes from being nervous.
so he called me. and he talked for about a solid 30 minutes while i laid on my belly on my grandmother's red velvet couch nervously kicking my feet. he mentioned getting together for drinks soon, but it would have to wait since he was going to austin for the weekend with "fuckface" dave.
as promised, we went for drinks the following wednesday evening. because this story is woefully out of order, refer to earlier post for what came next...
ps: brian sent me photographic evidence that my new gay boyfriend was cheating on me that night with maternity girl (amanda). i was heartbroken.
pps: in addition to countless other near misses at meeting, i recently learned of another.
i grew up in east texas. in high school, i had a friend named charlie. charlie moved away to UT austin. i saw him one time after that when i was visiting our mutual high school friend, barbara. then, charlie became gay and disappeared.
brian grew up in okc. his best friend was scotty. scotty's brother is ricky (who is now also brian's friend). ricky went to school at UT austin. i recently learned he became friends with charlie. he also knew barbara and lived down the street from her for a time. it's altogether possible i met ricky in austin.
what are the odds?