by the time the baby was a couple of months old and we'd started using the tub somewhat regularly, i called brian into my bathroom because, lo and behold, THE TUB HAD BEEN PAINTED TOO.
WHO PAINTS A BATHTUB?!?!
alright, so today, i'm scrubbing the tub before giving the baby a bath since ttyki thinks it's her own personal poo box and vomit repository and i see that little edge of paint by the drain just egging me on to pull at it. at this point, only a tiny piece had pulled away from the chrome and i'd managed to leave it alone. but i'm a picker and that thing was puckering. so i test it and see several inches had already given way. but that's not the best part. not the painting the shower. not the painting the bathtub. not the cat pooping and vomiting in the tub.
for father's day, i gave brian a card likening him to a hybrid vehicle that never runs out of gas and thanking him for filling my home with babies and man purses and used kleenex and then i gave him three whole foods chocolate bars and this awful polaroid in a laminated cardboard frame shaped like a peach that the whole foods lady made me do yesterday just before oliver drew on his own fake eyebrow with that chained up pen. oliver's sitting in his sling looking like a total ham (which is fine) and, somehow, i look like i'm five months pregnant. which is weird, because i did not look five months pregnant when i left the house nor when i returned back to it.
no mother of the year awards for the lady who let her baby nearly stick himself in the eye with a ball point pen
the day zipped right into the toilet because mr fussy pants was fussy and nappy and dirty and in need of a bath in the purple tub that needed to be cleaned of poo and puke and it was difficult getting in there because, at any given time, mr fussy pants would be either napping in the adjoining bedroom or napping on my lap and then there was that celebrity fit club marathon.
so we finally got out of the house and picked up mango for dinner and went, for the first time, to the fancy park on lovers lane in university park where they have a duck pond and fountains and a public pool with a covered kiddie pool with a fountain and tennis courts and families fishing and a playground. we sat on a blanket on the grass and ate our pad kee mow and green vegetable stir fry and egg rolls and applesauce rice. then we made bubbles with oliver's easter bubble sabre which flew up and over far away trees and swung like maniacs in the swings.
we came home and everything was painted pink from the sun pushing through the thin clouds and we looked up and were careful to make sure no hairy, green caterpillars fell from the tree into our hairs.