brian leaves the condo more often than i do. so i get to hear many accounts of his sourpuss encounters with ann... which frequently involve her sticking her face out of her gate and glaring whether brian says hello to her or not.
friday morning, brian was "not feeling well" because he had pooped alot wednesday afternoon and thereby required two days to recuperate. that's his story and he's sticking to it. he came back after taking the dog out and said:
"i was taking the dog down the stairs and heard ann opening her door (the door of bars on the outside of her real door),"
i interrupted to ask, "and did you rattle your keys to scare her back into her cage? that's what i do. i give her plenty of time and i rattle my keys."
"no," he responded. "but i stopped up on the landing and stayed quiet and i heard her say something like, 'it's stupid up there!'" he seethed, mocking her. "and then she shut her door."
i sat there dumbfounded and unsure of what kind of response i should be coming up with. i asked him 10 times if he was sure that was what she said. he was pretty sure. but brian also tends to exaggerate when he mocks people and makes this really ugly face that i can't help but thinking all people probably don't make. but you know how it is when you're mocking someone.
anyway, the next morning, brian came in from taking the dog out and said:
"i think ann might be bipolar."
i might have said something along the lines of, "we already knew that," or, "okay..." or, "what now?"
ann had appeared out of nowhere or somewhere or her backyard or her sports car and handed brian a yellow envelope. she had fancied the baby must be approaching a year old by now. inside the yellow envelope there was a winnie the pooh card that said, and i quote:
"HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY
(Indeed, that's right.)
(Yes, very. Quite.)
(Oh, this is fun!)
HAVE A ONE-DERFUL BiRTHDAY!"
and a tidy little jackson fluttered softly out.
thursday evening, we packed up the puppy and the baby to go to Dog Bark Central in deep ellum under the crisscrossing of the highway interchange. as we were crossing all the intersections to get there, i was saved from a bum who seemed to be asking us for our names because i had to shout about the dog nearly pulling backwards out of his collar and into traffic.
we entered the double gate and were immediately surrounded by four or five of the largest dogs known to mankind who were apparently without owners. well, some people did meander over for two seconds and then left us to fend for ourselves. harry was terrified. we went to the other end of the park and headed for a bench where the pretty grass was and then retreated when we realized we were in the middle of a poo minefield. so we kind of stood in the middle with harry still looking scared. this one little, long-legged dog with a summer cut kept traipsing all over the park following one dog and then another. once harry finally got discombobulated enough to accidentally follow someone until he was 10 feet away from us, that little bugger came up and started biting him. brian ran and got him and this middle aged man scolded the dog and then the dog ran over to us and tried to bite harry. the man came over and scolded the dog and then waited to see if he would bite him again. well, of course! get your fucking dog away from us. so we left that town and i don't want to go back. my desire to hang at the bark park has finally been sated.
instead, we went to All Good Cafe and sat on the little patio and had beers and chips and tomatillo salsa and took our dinners home.
upon strolling into the courtyard, we witnessed robert sitting in his folding chair smack dab in the middle. he told us he was watching the sun set. true, the sun was setting somewhere in the direction he was facing. he showed us the little address book he was holding and told us that he had not updated it in some time. so he had spent the day calling everyone he knew. chuckle chuckle. "well alright, that sounds like a great way to spend the day," i told him. much like i had told him watching the sun set was a great way to spend the evening. since we're used to helen's odd questions about where we're just now coming from, i breezed easily through robert's question of "are you just coming back from the hospital?" with nary a pause and responded we had just been at the park. "oh," he said. "i thought you were just coming back from having the baby." "noooo... i sure hope not!"
i still can't tell if robert has just lost his touch at joshing or if he really has lost his rocks completely.