this year, it was not nearly so difficult. tuesday was brian's birthday. he's getting so big, he's practically all grown up!
i nearly ruined the birthday by asking him why he doesn't like to break down paperboard boxes for the recycling.
evelyn came over to babysit and i fretted much in the days leading up to it with the pumping and the hoping he would be well-napped and well-adjusted. she commenced with much holding of the baby and much watching of the baby monet after we left.
i took brian for dinner at mango where he ordered the biggest mojito i've ever stolen sips from. then we got reckless and decided to sprint down the street for 1.5 negra modelo's apiece at the inwood bar. there were exactly three other patrons there. one man looked like i look when i want out of the house, but have no one to go with so i take my paper materials and look at my cellphone and hold my martini glass (except i'm usually too cheap for the martini and hold my beer bottle instead). the other two looked to be on a first date and the male made with the loud talking about cats and what seemed endless conversation about his ex-wife. the lady coiffed at her hair with her hands. we watched silenced scenes of walter matthau and goldie hawn in the cactus flower on one of two televisions which have been senselessly installed... the other replacing the black erase board which used to tout clever quotations written by the lounge employees.
then, because i didn't realize until the end of the day that i was suffering from mild retardation and had never gone to purchase brian's birthday cake, i forced him to drive me by central market where i found a miniature turtle cheesecake for him and a miniature chocolate mousse cake for me. it was during our jog through the frigid temperatures of the parking lot that we received the SOS from evelyn. good timing.
there was no birthday sex as i had phlegm coursing into my stomach and i was also concerned i might have a heart attack and die. so we actually cuddled instead. cuddling? what's that?
valentine's day hotfooted it's way into the wake of the birthday. while brian was forcing me to allow him to smooch my nether regions with friendly lips on his way out the door to work, i spied the Head of Ann wrapped in a gauzy kerchief pass by down below through the one foot part in the curtains. SHE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME. brian tested the reflective powers of the sliding door from outside and gave the a-ok and i breathed a sigh of relief that maybe the Head of Ann wouldn't turn abruptly around and go bend our license plates or pour coke on the hoods of our autos.
i almost ruined valentine's day by filling out my portion of oliver's card prior to parental consultation. brian later said he was tired and i had created an unexpected vacuum of sentiment, the pressure of which had sent him into a valentinal head spin. so we saved the opening of cards and books and nana's big, brown box for after dinner because who wants photos of all that emotional aftermath? it was still frigid outside thus giving me the opportunity to bundle the crap out of oliver. i have found the opportunities to put any of his many hats on him or use his two jackets or to wrangle his little legs into his pairs of sweater pants woefully lacking.
we headed for dream cafe and found it pleasantly unbusy. the baby slept and slept and slept. he slept his way through my One for Joe veggie burger and brian's goat cheese and sun dried tomato omelet and a sugar rimmed bellini. he slept his way until the last five minutes when he awoke and flipped and gave me the opportunity to pull him out and show off his winter stuffs and bad hat hair.
and then we came home and because we were filled of good spirits and pouring more jamaican spirits down into our gullet, we decided to open the card from joann-the-neighbor with little Xs and Os and underlines and hears filled in with red pen which she had surrpetitiously slipped into the crack of our front door during the day and to look at the card brian already opened from his mother and to open the infamous card from us to oliver and to open the big, brown nana box heaped with two kinds of chocolate confections and the softest not real puppy you've ever touched (even softer than a real puppy) and to open the cards we gave each other. and then the baby went to bed after much struggling and resisting. and then brian knew pleasure.
brian's 32nd (last year) - mr kitty hadn't yet moved to the farm
i found this awesome shirt on a religious website. it was oh-so-controversial that they discontinued it.
i've just realized that i should still have more of these candles somewhere. i had to improvise because i was too lazy to look.
zip zip zip ahead...
the booty wrapped in yet another religious theme.
killing the buddha and a pink unicorn. he has a delicate blend of tastes.
product demonstration of his new neoprene sigg bottle cover. yes, it is attached to his belt.
look. my baby can hold his own bottle. it's totally weird. it's even weirder that i've never seen my 8.5 month old hold a bottle. it's even weirder that i think that's weird since boobs are the natural way to go.
the joann card.
interior with hearts and sentiments.
the mommy and daddy card.
check out my evil eye!
my card to brian.
my card from brian, and i quote:
is so radiant,
that every time
I think of you,
touch me lightly,
through my mind...
the world is filled
with every joy
we've ever shared,
and our sweet soul-mysteries [!!!]
till all i need
or wish or want
is the gentle warmth
of an endless kiss,
a secret told,
the dreams i hold
for now and always,
for you alone.
Your love brings me
the greatest joy.
Happy Valentine's Day,
My Forever Love
this bad boy's going over the diaper changing area.