it was the longest drive ever since we decided to leave at 5pm. we met brian there and immediately required a diaper change. and i’m not sure why we even bothered with purchasing a stroller since oliver refuses to reside in it for more than three minutes at a time thereby reducing us to carrying him and pushing the stroller and, as is the case when on a shopping expedition, pushing a cart containing our pre-purchased wares.
the kid was totally starving about a quarter of the way through the ikea maze, so we began searching for a chair to use for nursing. shouldn’t be too difficult considering we’re in an ikea, right? all those mock rooms that seemed so dimly lit the first time through all of a sudden appeared to be blinded in spotlights and in the direct line of traffic. i finally settled on a small couch tucked under a loft bed in the children’s bedroom furniture section. those fluffy scandinavian-styled pillows came in handy and the stroller made for a nice blocking device. glad it came in good for something.
things weren’t so awkward until the latino family of three decided to sit down on some furniture across the way and facing me head on. they sat there and sat there and sat there and made me want to own an invisible camera that i could take out and photograph them with to capture just how truly weird it was.
just when i thought our need to purchase boundless quantities of cheaply made ikea furniture had subsided, we ponied up to the register with three more pieces. i’m pleased that none of them were Lack. and the coffee table has wheels. and isn’t even technically a coffee table. and i finally scored the little blue children’s pushcart with silver handle and white wheels. oliver must begin learning to walk next week so he can use it pronto. and he had better learn how to walk really well or he will likely cause permanent bodily injury from depending on an ikea product to provide any kind of reliable support.
i also purchased boundless quantities of cookies and, for some reason, felt slightly less embarrassed about it at the checkout because i also had a bottle of mustard to prove that i eat more than just cookies.
this morning, i have already OD’d on cookies, but am slightly less embarrassed about it because i chased it with a shot of banana strawberry soy yogurt. and yet i still feel just the littlest bit dizzy.
i will never fit into my old jeans ever again.
ps: huzzah! 10:30 and my child still sleeps. and look what good use i’ve made of the time by working. off to check and make sure he’s still breathing.