changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

a flap of skin

immediately after the news was delivered that we are having a boy, i made a mistake in the balance of power by practically throwing all mine away.

i've never had to really consider circumcision in all its glory in any personal way. it was easier for me to tell brian, as we sat in the waiting area of the office, that i was shifting the decision-making process largely to his shoulders... seeing as how he has a penis and all.

then i started to hear that it really isn't medically necessary (which i had thought it still did make a difference in that arena) and pretty much all my rationale for what basically amounted to ritualistic torture flew straight out the window.

i learned much about the opinions of those close to me regarding that silly piece of foreskin and was surprised to discover how many people leaned toward not doing it. little did i know, one of my friends still had his intact and had never been publicly nor privately ridiculed for it.

needless to say, my opinion began falling much more strongly on the anti- side of the fence while, in the meantime, brian was still expressing his position in the pro- camp. shit.

i mentally prepared for weeks for what i was sure would be a knock down fight over the issue ending with me asserting my rights over MY baby and preparing to tell him he would be responsible for every single diaper change for weeks on end should the tip of that baby's penis be left red and raw. MY BABY!

i basically knew that agreeing to a circumcision was my easy out for standing up against the majority and i knew that i would feel like a real piece of shit later.

and then, last night, brian brought it up. oh crap... here we go.

"I DON'T WANT TO DO IT!" i said defiantly as i tossed out the first volley.

he pretended he had been hoping i would say "i told you you could make the decision and i fully trust your judgment."

well now, that just wasn't a game of russian roulette i was willing to play with my baby's bits quivering under a paused scalpel.

and then he said he didn't want to either.
Tags: in utero
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