January 15th, 2010


wind chimes. lunch at ikea.

i'm looking for dinnerware for violet. i can't believe it's almost that time.

i was searching through some old links and pulled up one that has wind chimes and chirping birds playing and i looked at violet, who had kind of been nursing on my lap, and she was falling off to sleep. i'm going to have to remember to pull that up again later to see if that's what did the trick.

i need to get some real wind chimes and chirping birds. maybe a job first. or winnings from the lottery.

i was feeling somewhat a-ok yesterday, despite the dreary-looking weather. i took violet up to brian's new office building, in the far reaches of the metroplex. it's at the northern border of dfw infinity. i don't even know what's past it, it's so far up there.

since i'm a cheapskate when it comes to taking toll roads, i decided to take preston for a bit. i barely hit a red light and ended up taking it all the way. for a couple of miles, i had no idea where i was. then i started seeing hints of places i'd been when i used to know people who actually lived up there (brian and evelyn).

after taking a whirlwind tour of the office and putting our baby in the faces of many strangers, we hopped up a couple of blocks to IKEA and ate a budget-priced lunch. violet nursed a bit, or chewed mainly, and i didn't even bother with covering her head up. i'm so used to nursing, i've started to feel like my boobs are invisible. violet enjoyed staring up at the new fabric panel next to our table. so did i. i should paper the ceiling over my bed with it.

we finally purchased frames for the old animal portraits i've had sitting around here for months. i let brian choose the color. he chose light-colored wood. today, i can no longer deny my feelings that they need to be white. i tried.

i left brian at work and retired to our home, where i proceeded to make potato/red bell pepper/mushroom/zucchini pancakes. violet allowed me to complete the painful shredding process before she began suffering to an extent i couldn't ignore. i had to mix in the other ingredients and get them stirred together with my remaining free arm. after picking up oliver, i must've spent something obscene like an hour and a half cooking. in between flipping pancakes and putting new ones on the skillet, i would sit with oliver and do things like trace seashells on construction paper and watch him cut them out and then refuse to use the shapes to make a snowman collage on a card. then, we made a collage on a card without snowman shapes. he chose to use a photo of our realtor, reggie. a nice touch for the recipient of the card.

somewhere in there, i began feeling very overwhelmed. there were tantrums over the pouring of too much hemp milk in a cup, among other things. and having to look at the messes mounting around me while i sat trapped under a baby and unable to do much to counter them.

i was glad when bedtime on the couch arrived.