October 16th, 2008


i will know don gonyea by his eyebrows.

we watched the final presidential debate tonight.

bob schieffer came out and swore this debate would be different from the last two and then it was like a 20 minute replay of the last two debates. just when i was settling in to not listen to another repeated word, bob pulled some tricks out of his bag by asking each to explain why they're VP choice was better than the other and then wouldn't they like to confront each other face to face about the ugly things they've (and by "they", he of course meant "mccain") been saying behind each others backs? i think that last one was pure debate candy. like, the trashy romance novel question of the debate library. i wondered if he had sat around over drinks with his friends and come up with gossipy, fake debate questions, just for fun, and then managed to talk himself into carrying this one out into the light of day and placing it on the public television. i wonder if his friends double dog dared him with applesauce on top.

i thought it miraculous how obama held his tongue on both palin and the keating five.

then that joe the plumber bit really stuck in my craw. could mccain be more transparent in his attempts to be just like me? how weird would it be to be joe the plumber right now? i predict his appearance on late night with david letterman.

i also thought it was miraculous that obama didn't punch mccain in the face when mccain told joe the plumber he was going to be fined for not providing healthcare and obama explained, again, that there would be a zero dollar fine and then mccain said joe the plumber is rich and going to be fined. why is no one saying anything about that?

i wanted to throw up in my mouth several times when some post-debate spinners implied this was mccain's best debate and how he even did a little better than obama, who was just sitting on his comfortable lead and not rocking the boat. then this one blonde woman said something like "he did better in points, but you won't see that in the results". it sounded like mccain logic. and why everyone thought it was so brilliant that mccain said "i am not president bush. if you wanted to run against president bush, you should have run four years ago." one woman described it as his "bicentennial moment".

and what do military wives and veterans with hats at his rallies have to do with supporters yelling "kill him!" and holding curious george dolls with obama stickers on them?

there has been a moment in each of the debates that has made my feet kick repeatedly in the air. usually, they are stingers delivered by obama. this time, the kicking was accompanied by endless and unattractive snortling when mccain was speaking about the energy crisis and saying he wanted to build 45 nuclear power pants. i would like a pair of those, please. i'm disappointed to see tonight's transcriptionist did not catch that one, but did dutifully report something he said of palin and it was in the same way i would've managed to describe my own running mate had i been debating obama, "And it's time we had that bresh of freth air,...".

and, like a bresh of freath air, keith olbermann came on the screen and wiped away any possibility that mccain did super well in the debate. it always upsets me knowing there are millions of people sitting around out there and thinking "gosh golly! that mccain is really giving obama the what for!" maybe they're laughing about some power-pants-moment they think obama had and nodding themselves silly about how they're just like joe and john is just like joe and that means john is just like them and they should obviously vote for him. ps: he said "warshed up".