October 8th, 2008


obama is filled with comedic gold and pudding pop smiles.

thesis statement: "i think the Straight Talk Express lost a wheel on that one."

if obama's political career stalls out at the front door of the presidency, he could consider a career in stand up. or playing a young bill cosby in a cinematic biography.

when i hear either mccain or palin speaking, i feel like i'm listening to the teacher from the peanuts. i mean, as excited as i was to watch the vice presidential debate, i fell asleep after the first hour. palin's rhetoric is more effective than a compact disc etched with ocean waves.

mccain seemed busy parsing together strings of words that didn't fit into what he was saying. at one point during last night's debate, he said "The Taliban came back in; al Qaeda. And we then had the situation that required us to conduct the Afghan War." al qaeda was just drifting around in the middle there like he was trying to insert subliminal messages of fear. i listened attentively, for as long as it was humanly possible, to see if i could detect a free-floating "9/11" or "USS Cole" or "terrorists".

at one point, there was a split screen with a close up of obama's face gazing to the right side of the screen where mccain was rambling along. i was hearing "wah-wah-wah-wah-wah", but then obama's mouth transformed into an easy and close-lipped smile and i knew he knew that no one could hear anything mccain was cobbling together over that smile. like it's his superpower. his smile was wearing a cape.

the post-debate analysts mentioned the crowning glory of the debate for mccain was the touching moment where he patted the chief petty officer terry, in section a, on the shoulder... something obama couldn't do because he wasn't in the military. that was the phoniest moment of the debate, in this analyst's opinion. it's like saying it would have been a great moment for obama to throw down some gang signs with oliver, over in section f, because that's something mccain can't do, since he's never been black.

after watching him walk the stage for an hour and thirty-four minutes, i feel safe in saying that mccain is likely a robot. and the power switch is located behind his left ear lobe. if you watched cindy mccain for the minute and a half they remained with the crowd after the debate, you will realize that she is a robot, too.

ps: mccain needs to fire his tailor.

maybe he'll return in the same clothes i sent him out in this morning.

had he stayed home today, it would've been a full week oliver was away from school. two of those days would've been missed, regardless of loose stool status, for fall break. he really needed those days to rest up from his rigorous studies.

we could tell he was already jonesing pretty badly by the time the little gym rolled around last saturday. it was like a fuse had been lit. he partied down. yesterday, he was so excited when i informed him we were going to the PARK - SLIDE - SWING, he immediately began putting awaythe hats he was playing with, zipped up his wallet, and placed it in his plastic purse. i knew he knows how to pick up and he's not showing signs of autism when he stares into space, sings, and walks off when i suggest he pick up his toys without the reward of swings.

his bowels toyed with us occasionally over the last several days by producing semi-solid masses, but they were inevitably followed by a foul soup of over-watered pudding. this is not the same kind of pudding that composes an obama smile. oh, no.

brain began googling yesterday and learned about Toddler Diarrhea and feared this plague might not lift until oliver turns four. i reminded him that he's been sick and it hasn't even been 14 days yet. still, in order to assuage him and possibly fend off another mudslide-induced "sick" day, i began filling oliver's toothed coffers with bananas, bread, soy yogurt, and fats.

we talked ourselves into believing this morning's entry in the fecal journal was semi-solid and we put him in a prefold and informed him of SCHOOL. "JAYMIE... JAYMIE... SHOSHANNA," he responded.

brian called me a half hour later and said oliver was running for the school door. he tripped and brian mistook his whimpering for injury, but quickly found it was in response to be slowed down during his sprint to school.