March 19th, 2008



i went to change oliver's pants and found two days worth of poop in there. i got it all scraped up and went to plunk it in the toilet. i gave it a flush to get things moving along and turned to wash my hands of any errant poopy debris. it was at this point that i recalled the xerox on the foyer door downstairs telling us we would be without water from 9am until as late as 3pm. not pleased.

this happens probably once a month. i have absolutely no idea why. it might be more bearable not having flushing toilets or running water if i had some clue as to why. i can't wash my face or brush my teeth or get ready to leave the house. they always recommend filling your tub with water to use throughout the day. mmmm. tasty. they apparently do not know the things that go on in our tub.

it's like i'm living in a second world country over here. i keep thinking i can't use the electricity as well.
oliver st patrick's

the parade and the money-sucker.

as promised, the weekend was rather busy.

since oliver hasn't been getting proper park time, i convinced brian to take us to ridgewood park for some post-mango-takeout play. oliver tore it up on the slides and swings. then we learned the mistake that is going to the park anywhere remotely resembling bedtime. he didn't nurse down, so brian had storytime. then it was lights out at which point oliver began singing the chorus of old macdonald (i taught him that). he eventually came back out to try nursing again. he finally fell asleep in there somewhere, but it kind of shot our night to pieces. we had rented the tiger in the snow, but only made it a fraction through before we both passed out on the couch.

saturday morning, oliver was rather intent on not enjoying the little gym. he started getting into the swing of things and was on his way to put a ball through the miniature basketball hoop when he ended up standing next to the bully from several weeks ago and started sobbing a little and shoved his fingers into his mouth. surely he doesn't still remember that kid. but he hasn't bitten his fingers since that first encounter.

we went home for lunch before we loaded up the stroller and walked down the street to the greenville st patrick's day parade. it largely resembled last year's parade with the very bad, old music (think mc hammer) being broadcast down the block. the first two floats were from hooters and we hollered: "look oliver! whores! look oliver! camel toes!" oliver could care less that there was a parade going on. he was more interested in the car wash behind us. at one point, brian and oliver stood very close to a lady and her older son (7, maybe?). brian had recently burned a ringworm-looking circle into his cheek with his zeno zit-removal device and believed that placing a large band-aid across his face was more appealing. the child queried what had happened to him shortly before his mother snatched him away telling him "we don't ask people that."

i was whacked severely across the chest and right shoulder and my brain had the initial impression that one hundred small, steel balls had exploded across my person and then i figured out i had been bullseyed by a string of green mardi gras beads. the baby found his own silver strand and i was glad that he had not had to pay the price that i had. i was shell-shocked for the rest of the parade. i nearly ducked for cover when this green, rubber bracelet landed under the stroller. our parade partner, a man watching with his large dog while his wife was left to chase their toddler back and forth, snatched it up as soon as i rolled away from it. parade bling! she walked right away from it!

the baby eventually ran out of good cheer and we returned home. i learned i had received a sunburn on my neck and shoulders. this was rather unexpected. the baby boys napped while i finished the movie. then we met dave down in oak cliff around the dining time of the elderly (4pm) at the new spiral diner location. i think we would have been kicked out if oliver's bring along burrito hadn't been vegan. we drove around the neighborhood and forgot to drop off recycling and took me to whole foods.

sunday, we went insane and decided to go to six flags and purchase season passes. jesus christ, that place is expensive. $15 for cheap parking. $80 for each season pass. you could upgrade to a flash pass or a parking pass. pretzels were $4.50. ride lockers a dollar. damn.

we wound our way through several lines to pay for the passes and to sign up for the passes and to get our horrible photos taken for the passes. it was at this point that i was almost ready to go home.

instead, we found looney tunes USA and oliver and i rode the miniature ferris wheel. he was displeased immediately upon getting in line. it couldn't be over fast enough. i couldn't figure out what else to put him on. either i couldn't get in there with him or i worried i'd strap him into a little swing and he'd try to crawl out mid-ride. so we got on this big train with stinky smoke that goes around the park and shows you displays of ethnic living like fat mexicans with sombreros riding plaster donkeys and native americans living in teepees. i think i also saw some mexican jumping beans.

i then allowed brian to wait in line for 30 minutes for his one minute ride on mr. freeze. that sounds wrong. regardless, i was able to convince oliver to sit in his stroller so that i wouldn't be carrying him and pushing the stroller for 40 minutes. we wound our way through France and the Olde West and Spain. Margarita Town was closed for the day. i found two of my favorite rides from childhood... El Sombrero and those faux antique cars with lawnmower engines. i did not see the possibly fabled slide-through-a-giant-boot. i later discovered the turn-of-the-century carousel was, surprisingly, right there at the entrance gates. a band had been covering a song in front of it, but fortunately, they were gone when we returned so that oliver and i could take a spin on our way out. he sat on one of the horses, but started bridling before the ride even started, so i parked us on one of the benches instead.

i was perplexed and saddened to see the old log ride was no longer in commission and had been replaced by what appeared to be a much more boring version sponsored by this gay i mean "guy", without all the nifty twists and turns through the trees. it made no sense. maybe they crank up the old one to catch the overflow during the summer months.

the mini mine train looked abandoned, but then some little cars came ambling by. i have rollercoaster anxiety and felt an attack coming on just watching the mild-mannered judge roy scream from the parking lot; but later that night, i vowed to oliver that someday i would ride the miniature grand canyon coaster in looney toons town with him.

the most disturbing part of the park was the ARMY experience inflatable tent thing out in the parking lot. our tax dollars hard at work. there were commercials blasting from speakers saying you should come over and experience what it's like to be a killing machine. "bumper cars or fully loaded HUMVEE!" at least it made it easy to find our car since we had managed to park right next to it.

we got freebird burritos on the way home. brian went in to provide instruction on their assembly. his burrito builder was seth. seth is the plump, little thing who has twice taken great pains in picking out the perfect cookies for our dessert. you would think this would translate into a tremendous burrito experience. however, brian came back to the car and presented me with a bag about half as full as usual. i later thanked seth for not making me fatter.

eating and drinking green:

this chinese-crested chihuahua was wearing a shirt, but just trust me when i tell you that he should have been wearing pants:

parade? what parade? oliver literally turned his back on the parade to watch his inflatable friend at the car wash. it was his favorite.


strangulation hazard:

it took two rainbow-laden floats for me to figure out why the floats were laden with rainbows:

fuzzy handcuffs, please:

you can't tell, but he was dancing. he also jammed out hardcore to six flags tunes the next day.

we are at six flags:

ferris wheel of doom: