i treated this news as fuel for my first workout since becoming aware of my impregnation late last september. and it worked. instead of experiencing a heady combination of heart flutters and heavy panting, i barely broke a sweat and came in at three minutes beyond my usual 20 spent on the elliptical trainer.
i must admit i found additional brush to throw atop that fire. since we had been there last, some things had changed. some machines were no longer located where one might have expected them. there were a couple of new elliptical machines in the first row of bikes. the only one open was on this row and, lo and behold, located directly under a television showing not sports, but an episode of the new comedy emily’s reasons why not (or something like that). and it wasn’t long before i remembered i no longer have television access in my home. i became determined to see out as much of the storyline as possible, forgetting that i was exerting myself in the meantime in ways that would normally have me beyond huffing and puffing as of late. if i had it my way, i would be at the gym every night now spending two hours of prime time on that elliptical trainer.
awww. it looks like a stick man lifting weights, i gently jibed at him as i approached him from behind... his angular arms and legs sticking out at fragile angles from the sitting bench press machine (i just made that name up). he promised to accrue unimaginable amounts of muscle mass in no time. i pointed out that he’s so light only because he’s turned to all fat. which means his two cup fulls of ass no longer break my fingernails when i tap on them. i tried to sidestep the fact that i was holding on to 10 pounds more of the voluminous stuff myself, meaning i had accumulated enough instead of converting it over from muscle to cause my weight to go skyrocketing up instead of slithering down. either that or this is going to be one record-holding baby that will be splitting me down the middle come may.
after braving the suddenly chilly temperatures to reach my car and upon arriving home, i had a moment of clarity: i could view dvd’s on my laptop. in bed. while i ate leftover vegetarian meatballs, mashed potatoes, and two bowls of Kashi GoLean Crunch!.