friday morning did not bring any noticeable hangover with it as i had assumed it would and i spent another day toiling at my desk in the name of telemarketing.
that night, brian and i went out with babyjewsus and his specail lady friend, sara with an “h”. it was rather low-key and surprisingly not followed by drinks. which was fine by me since i needed to get up early on ...
... to put the final nail in the birthday celebration coffin by driving to tyler for the family-friendly portion. i actually got there early enough to spend time in the pool before cleaning up for the traditional extended family dinner of mushroom-eggplant spaghetti with my sister’s family and paternal grandparents.
everyone was generous as usual and i received enough in bestbuy gift cards to help take the sting out of a future laptop purchase along with a million yankee candles and three new books (i, lucifer, eleanor rigby, and island of the sequined love nun).
there was a spectacular bonfire atop my lemony cake adorned with flowers and their accompanying insects from the yard. my practicing theory for many years now has been to add the digits of the birthdayer’s age and that’s how many candles go on the cake. for example: i was anticipating 6 candles. takes a bit of bite out of the experience, in my opinion. well, whoever was in charge this year blatantly disregarded that understood notion and loaded that bitch up with 33 candles. it took two small children armed with butane torches and a considerable amount of time to light it up to full capacity. the heat from the resulting blaze began to melt the candles until some of them actually bent in half to light neighboring candles. i obviously didn’t have sufficient lung power to easily extinguish such a pyrotechnic monument and i quickly swallowed my petty anger that members of my own family would engineer a moment that would rob me of my 33rd birthday wish.
here is where i would insert yet another over-abundance of photos, this time featuring what appears to be some kind of non-existence cleavage coming out of my top. but my mother not only has a dial-up connection, she has an inferior dial-up connection and the photos are archived at her location. i requested an upload to winkflash, but it challenged her and i haven’t heard from her in days. my fantasy cleavage shall have to wait for its debut.
i was too fat from pigging out on my birthday dinner the night before to go out into the public eye, so christie came over sunday afternoon to paddle about in the pool and thunderous lightning with me. my sister’s family also showed up, but were frightened by the bolts of electricity shuttling down near the pool.
i ran away from tyler that evening and stopped by the condom store long enough to give brian some cake and walk to whole foods. there was to be no scrabble, no trivial pursuit, and no mexicali bakery on that night. no sir.