changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003
ms_pooka

wed 7/6 – thur 7/7: vol III, chapter 1

i’m becoming convinced that boys can sense when you’re about to start moving on. a girl can only be told ‘no’ so many times before she has to accept that the hand on the back and knees touching knees are things he would be doing even if it was his best male buddy sitting next to him.

when brian asked if he could come over to “do laundry” (if you know what i mean), i told him “yes” and finished up one of my first days of full time work as a salaried employee. he brought over two videos for us to watch and, between team america* and baran**, i insisted we meet my dusk-time anxiety head on by taking a speedy outdoor beer break at the table in my apartment’s common area just beyond the grassy minefield of poo created by inconsiderate pet owners.

back inside, i dismissed the angled knees. what are friends for if not to stand in as a knee rest? but once the hand landed on my wrist and and the hand began working its way to my hand and the hand began working my hand towards his mouth and his mouth began working its way toward my mouth and buttons on my shirt came undone, i had to accept that the moves were on. i was surprised. i thought, should it ever happen to come to this, there would be a preliminary sit down to engage in serious discussion, like two nations agreeing to demolish a trade embargo.

so i spent the night waiting for the following morning when he would awake and wonder what the hell he had gone and done. instead, the familiar two-timing occurred followed by... cuddling. cuddling?!?

but i still wasn’t sold. no more conversation had occurred than “what’s going on?”, “i don’t know. i miss you.”, and “me too.”. hardly stable grounds for renewed love. and i wasn't about to give up my thin strip of hard fought emotional stability on the grounds of a night of horny play.

when i showed up at the condom store the next night to play scrabble and meet my dusk-time anxiety head on by taking a speedy outdoor beer break at the blarneystone across the street, i approached the evening still teetering on the seesaw of friendship. or, i suppose, the ever awkward friendship-with-benefits that eventually promises to blow up in the face of all involved.



*i kicked and screamed against this one, but it was funnier than i thought it would be
**good god. we both agreed that this sucked. but we chalked it up to cultural restrictions and an apparently boring way of life in the middle east.
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