changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

paris burger

as a result of my new fascination with, i have just now done something i didn't think i would do: watched the paris hilton hamburger ad.

in addition, i also watched the two "documentary" clips.

first of all, who can get up in front of a camera and act like that with a straight face? porniness eludes me. as do silly porny toys. i don't think i could get all "sexy" without completely cracking up and throwing it all out the window.

second of all, for some reason, i thought carl's jr was a truck stop chain. i guess i was wrong?

thirdly, the "commentary" by paris is three minutes chock full of her brilliant insight into the world of hamburgers and what's hot and sexy.

fourthly, the "commentary" by the men behind the commercial goes to show just how much men still hang on to their teenage porn fantasies. i mean really... a "hot" car, a porned-up girl with a spray hose in an ugly swimsuit and heels, really bad and outdated guitar rock, and a hamburger. how transparent. give me a break. yes... it's such a brilliant commercial idea they can't even air it!

fifthly, although they do show all men in the third clip, one of them is the lispy, faux-hawked chris applebaum gaying over the commercial. this only goes to show how much gays love to hate to love trashy women.

if i did eat hamburgers, i would now proceed to stay as far away from carl's jr as humanly possible. i need to go pluck my eyeballs from their sockets so that i can consume and then regurgitate them.

basically, we chose paris hilton because she has sort of a signature line that's hot and we have a new burger at carl's jr called the spicy barbecue six dollar burger that's also hot so it was a natural marriage that our advertising agency identified.
-brad haley

i guess it's going to be a competition to see who's hotter... the burger or paris.
-chris applebaum

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