but, as the buddha says, everything comes with a karmic price tag and the bill was overdue by my second week.
from the 67th mile out of dallas last sunday evening until my 55th mile from dallas last night, i sat in the contoured seat of my sedan gripping the wheel much like the grim reaper holding a scythe in his bony phalanges from the saddle of his apocalyptic steed as pulses of imminent demise emanated in cartoon rings from me causing vehicles miles ahead to skid uncontrollably to their inescapable fates.
people in cars visibly cringed when they noticed who was traveling alongside them and quickly ducked on to service roads. highway troopers lit flares and activated their lights in an attempt to warn others of the danger nearby.
but to no avail.
their powers were useless and my cartoon waves knocked them on their backsides and extinguished their fires without even a glitch in my progress.
women in cars collided at highway junctures. custom buses smashed into lesser autos and shut down entire highways. even invisible cars were crashing and breaking down and causing a flurry of slow downs. men sat on the backs of large city trucks with flashing lights and orange vests and large, pointed cones shutting down all lanes... trying to send innocent civilians home to bypass the tragedies they knew would come should anyone remain on the blacktop. but all this did was slow traffic down even more.
i left work 1.5 hours earlier this week than last and still arrived in dallas at 10pm. this gave me plenty of time to reap the benefits of my labors of destruction and draw the sweet smells of burning rubber and expired exhaust deep into my victorious nostrils.