changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

sat 3/19: my new nickname is "titty cheap ass"

i attempted to feign sleep for at least an hour before taking the bulls by the horn and being the first to rise. once darren was done primping his hair, we hopped over to flight path for coffee and non-traditional cinnamon rolls served up by who we unanimously voted as a bitch. we killed time at Room Service (vintage store) where i barely kept my purse closed as i stretched the arms of Bendy Elf in the shape of a hug and then fashioned the phrase "well, that's no Kitten with a Basket" in honor of a figurine that would look utterly divine in my box of weird. i'm still holding out hope that one of my compadres has already contacted members of the Room Service staff to request they send Kitten with a Basket along as a special surprise for me. c'mooooon Kitten with a Basket.

one more vintage store down and we were ready to find a parking spot near the austin music hall. we arrived just in time for a set by Peter Pan Speedrock who sang songs about beer in the style of lenny from motorhead. i knew i was destined to be a top-notch rock star after hearing the caliber of lyrics bouncing off the walls. even though it was only 1:30pm, we didn't let that keep us from throwing down some beers as we scanned the crowd for vish, DB, and retinue. the roller derby match was fraught with white trash trailer-styled brawls and limp-wristed penalty spankings. that sport looks to be a whole world of hurt accented with sassy costuming.

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once nashville pussy came on to perform, i couldn't drink my beer fast enough so that we could escape to a lyric along the lines of

in order to maintain the typical austin rhythm of coffee, beer, coffee, beer, we stopped in at flipnotics and watched darren's sxsw performance before popping into the vintage store downstairs so that i could purchase a slip that i managed to immediately lose (i'm almost positive i "lost" it in one of darren's many purchases).

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a stop in at bookpeople was arranged so that we weren't showing up for dinner at 3pm like a gaggle of elderly people. but once 5:30 hit, we were in a very confusing 3-person line at mr. natural... a vegetarian mexican restaurant actually run by mexicans and in a mexican neighborhood. dinner was great, but we all decided their sweets needed some work.

i was terrified when we called DB and decided to meet her and fagaroni at a gay bar downtown. terrified because drinking was about to start and it wasn't much past 7pm. oil can harry's was mostly dead save for a contingent of friendly gays at the far side of the bar. despite pulsing disco lights, no one was inebriated enough to dance. yet.

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*as you can see, at this point the gays were beginning to get along fabulously

from there, we hopped over to an even emptier bar called 1920's which didn't manage to hold our attention for long until we were hopscotching to yet another gay club so faggy could do some stalking. by this point, i think everyone was pretty well hammered except for NJ and myself. we tried to catch up, but it just wasn't happening. after a game of pool, we decided i should go pee and then we would stroll the neighborhood a bit in search of greener pastures.

i wasn't gone long, i swear. there wasn't even a line in the restroom. but upon my speedy return, i noticed a matching pair of oily men in spandex man-panties and was quickly thereafter shown two photos DB had captured on her camera. the first was really no surprise. darren ray was feigning an exagerrated lick to the bare ass cheek of one of the beefcakes. the second was a photo of my boyfriend placing a dollar bill alongside the exposed penis of said beefcake. with his teeth. NJ later spit on the sidewalk and said he felt dirty for having that filthy money in his mouth. he had already washed his hands.

i wait with baited man-panty breath for DB to send me copies of the incriminating evidence. c'mon woman... you're killing me.

considering sxsw was in full swing, our efforts to haunt some of the joints i'd visited before proved completely fruitless. we only made one stop. in a bar that was empty for a reason. and we only used the restroom. and gazed upon a female dwarf on the way out. i didn't tell NJ about her until we were safely outside. i wasn't certain he could've handled the situation with poise and grace.

we literally ran into darren and girls out on the sidewalk before continuing our search for an acceptable locale. shortly thereafter, we threw in the towel, purchased a giant beer and laffy taffy at the convenience store and went back to the hotel with adult play on our minds. the beer mostly ended up down the drain and my perfectly rational fear of any unnecessary parts of my body touching SL sheets returned. so we greeted sleep instead. while swatting hands away from my pants. someone was a little horny from all the man-meat he'd almost eaten that night.
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