2004 – Layoff Four in The Year of The Tire
today is Day #1 of Layoff #4 and, i thought, what better way could there be to celebrate another four years of bush's bustling economy than to start my xmas letter for 2004?
so let's start there. when we last left off, I was basking in the sunny glow of Layoff #3. as you might have already guessed, i was employed somewhere in between and my burning desire to relocate to austin was violently extinguished by the offer of said "solid" (hahaha!) employment. ergo, i worked precisely eight months for yet another telemarketing company as a script programmer. my 1.5 hour round-trip daily commute drove me deep into the heart of the dfw mid-cities and it was grand, let me tell you. i'll miss passing by one of three headquarters for the trinity broadcasting network five times a week.
dallas: the reunion show
considering my lease was also drawing to a close, it may sound like the stars had aligned with astonishing accuracy into a pattern which read: "NOW IS YOUR GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO MOVE TO AUSTIN". however, it was simply another kick in the pants from my mistress Fate as one of my best friends had decided it was not yet time to prepare the path ahead of me. and, in the meantime, i also managed to pick up a couple of local friends to make existence in dallas more bearable. perhaps my readers recall the prominence of my party monster phase from 2003? well, it didn't quite end there. through a series of coincidences, i managed to meet the winner of the party monster halloween party costume contest. it was all downhill from there.
the seventh sign
i was involved in a mysterious new phenomenon between the months of june and november (so far) that left many people asking me if i had made any enemies recently. i developed an astounding knack for accruing flat tires... five, to be exact. i was in pretty tight with AAA until the fourth month of my membership drew to a close and i was informed they would have to begin charging me with my next service call. i knew then that chivalry was dead. (please note: the first flat came within two weeks of meeting the aforementioned costume contest winner. if anything dubious should happen to my person, please make sure a copy of XMAS LETTER 2004 makes it into the eager hands of the press.)
get me out of here
the infamous Homage to Lost Mexico . on labor day, "mexico" became a dirty word to me after a confused Continental employee directed me away from my correct departure gate, my friends, and my international vacation at a swim-up bar. i've just this moment decided that the hundreds of dollars lost in the mexican void will be considered my donation to keep an airline afloat and help its employees have a snazzier xmas. my heart feels warm now.
so what's there left to do? road trip!
so, as much as i hate to admit, it appears that i spent the entire year within the confines of the state of texas. unless my memory fails me (which it often does), the only trip (aside from 4 trips to austin and the usual forays to tyler) was a daddy-daughter weekend excursion to shiner and brenham texas where we splurged on beer and ice cream and pet miniature horses at the Franciscan Poor Clare Nun's Monastery.
the groundwork for Spinster Ranch has been completed
i know what you're thinking: jeez... beth really has entered that early-30's phase of Bitter. okay, maybe you're right. but there were plenty of good times this year as well. a tunnel was burrowed through my bank account which led me to an unprecedented number of concerts, including a two day stint at the austin city limits music festival where i just managed to triumph over a mild case of heat syncope. new bands and old bands alike poured through my neighborhood and every penny spent was well worth it.
but enough about me:
this year was a period of rest as most everyone i currently know took a much-needed rest from getting married and producing offspring. but you people can't fool me. i know you're just gearing up for another round.
let's not even bother changing last year's sentiments:
i sincerely wish you all a fantastic holiday season and hope to hear from you or see you in the near future.