-he's gone gone?
-yep. you know how all he ever says is "fine"? i walked in and asked if i could talk to him and he said "fine". and i told him we had to let him go and he said "fine". and that was it.
- oh no. why?
- he was costing too much money.
- oh god.
- and i have to let nancy and kandace go. and monica.
- what?!? who's going to do all their work?
- i guess it's going to fall to me and dedee.
- oh shit. is the company going downhill?
- yep. it's not going to be around much longer.
- oh shit. how much longer? do you know?
- not long.
- oh my god.
- yeah. have you been looking for other jobs yet?
- not really. it's just been in the last several days that it's been hitting home.
- you better start looking really soon.
- how soon?
- pretty soon... today's your last day.
...said jimi, the owner's son-in-law and the director of operations. i'm pretty sure he had tears in his eyes. it's not a good feeling having to bounce down the halls and create massive upheaval in the lives of so many on behalf of someone else. i told him i was sorry.
i'm glad to see my theory about an increase in composure accompanying an increase in the number of layoffs. this is #4. and i was downright jovial. i cracked jokes. i threw away my new insurance paperwork and the recycling i've been collecting for the last 8 months. i tried to hide the fact that my hands were starting to shake.
i collected my things and wiped out my files in record time. i also felt the intense need to take a dump and was thrilled that i was going to be able to take one last proper parting shot in stall #3, but the momentum was lost by the time i had greased victor and jimi's palms with my email address and saddled myself with my fan and space heater.
once on the outside and in my car, i promptly began making a series of phone calls on my now-stolen cellphone. as i steered with one hand and ran up my minutes with the other, i made contingency plans to pull on to the shoulder should the numbness running down the left side of my body continue to worsen. at the very least, it seemed to have slowed down my rapid heartbeat.
all the stars were beginning to align, so i can't say i was actually surprised. no insurance. requests to burn our databases to cd. dedee's IT man inquiring after all of our daily tasks and servers and systems. two months of non-payment to our do-not-call data warehousing service. no corporate long distance. the fact that i just placed a large xmas-style order at lush (as a result of the previous flags, i was at least smart enough to use my credit card and not my debit card. too bad i wasn't so savvy when laying down a small chunk on my credit card debt.) and the number one flag: the other two executive ladies of leisure are now employed.
i'm now off to research the happiest of happy hours so i can invite all the locals to a shindig in honor of LAYOFF #4 2004!!! i'm praying that lee harvey's or double-wide will have a special on their already low PBR prices so my pride won't have a hope of interfering with my requests for friends to buy me beers.