"this is your birthday dinner!"
as a result of my swiss-cheese-like memory, i was prepared to embrace this answer and then a moment of clarity struck:
"i thought this was a thank you for helping you paint."
darren strolled up ready for culinary repayment for serving as a hotel for the monster just before we were about to collapse into a hungry pile. we continued on with our journey to stuff ourselves silly and laid out the ground rules for part II of our wednesday evening.
once we were in darren's living room with the tartest kamikazes this side of tokyo in our hands, we fired up the tube and gazed upon the sweetly withered face of the mediator for Presidential Debate III.
before the opening question was recited, we all made sure of our drinking signals:
beth: "wishy washy" or "flip flop"
evelyn: "fuzzy math"
as the debate progressed, we realized we had made an egregious error in our choices. we had selected much-abused catch phrases of the past which the candidates had surely been trained to no longer use.
our rules suddenly became more lax.
1) president drinks, we all drink!
2) president winks, we all drink!
3) president utters a word that could be pornographic when placed out of context ("caucus", "backdoor draft"), we all drink!
4) kerry drinks, we all drink!
5) president uses fuzzy math, evelyn drinks!
6) either candidate uses poor grammar, we all drink!
7) bush uses m-w's word of the day (see: litmus test), we all drink!
8) bush emphatically throws down an open-palmed slap on the podium, we all drink (usually multiple times)!
9) kerry implies homosexuals can be americans just not married americans, darren drinks!
i toyed with the idea that when either of the candidates do a mr. roboto imitation we would all drink, but 2 of the 4 of us still had to drive home.