i accidentally consumed 1.5 beers, became agitated because i felt i wouldn't have the concentration necessary for an existential comedy, and decided we should just blow the rest of the night away by getting drunk. i probably would have consumed to the point of fostering a raging hangover the following day had it not been for the ant bites i was receiving on my neck. we bolted home just in time for me to become irreconcilably silent and moody. that poor little jew.
saturday we dragged our feet until we could drag them no more. the plan had been to rise early and join forces with NJ's realtors to find something not-too-ghetto for him to move into. but it was cloudy and rainy and we were still tired. turns out the realtor was behind our imagined schedule as well so we decided to kill time by popping into metro retro and breakfasting at cafe brazil. after ordering a no foam caramel latte with cinnamon toast and receiving a foamy cinnamon latte with cinnamon toast, NJ and i parted ways.
saturday evening i had a date with darren. we took our chances by dining at toys cafe where the best thing ever happened. as i glanced out the large picture window, i witnessed an SUV pull up. the passenger side door opened and i knew we were in for something good as i caught a glimpse of some magenta-hued african american hair. the hair settled back in and as i anxiously waited for its grand emergence, i had time to take in the rest of it. there were some mightily long and muscular legs topped by the shortest pair of shorts i've ever seen (i've likened them to being smaller than the underpants i was wearing at the time. because they were.). after the suspense had built up sufficiently, it finally made its exit from the vehicle. jehovah's witness! it was grand! much to darren's horror, i started emitting some high-pitched squealing and squeaking noises just as our server returned to our table. i cursed myself for not always having a camera at the ready as i gazed upon the 6 foot 4 figure with smallish breasts and frosted white eyeshadow peeking happily from behind sunglasses. it made several trips back and forth from the neighboring laundromat and graced us with a handful of deep bends at the waist.
from there, we went to see jesus hopped the A train at the kitchen dog theater. i tried my best to convince darren we should attend the panel discussion on tuesday about spirituality in american prisons. i imagine prisoners everywhere would have quite a hoot knowing a handful of artsy dallas liberals were joining to discuss the state of their souls. there was also a fantastic exhibit in the gallery executed in the style of a modern day byzantine triptych. i'm refraining from including details of the subject matter so that NJ might be virginally fresh when i drag him back to inspect it more closely.
after the play we were off to cosmo's for drinks with the monster. once they had petered out, we ran into bar buddy terry. somewhere amidst conversation of belly-cleavage and orgies, darren made an ill-placed rodney dangerfield comment in an attempt to amuse me on the sly. ironically, he was unaware of the comedian's recent demise. so bittersweet it was.