for some reason, this year a re-make was filmed and named criminal. i was pleased that in the opening scenes, the actors said things like jealous jew, no tricks, and brian. maggie gyllenhall has horrible posture.
after the viewing, i sent darren back into the magnolia box office to retrieve my copy of the dogville dvd which i won, probably as recompense for my lost trip to mexico (so i told myself). we then decided to imbibe at the xpo lounge, as recompense for my lost trip to mexico. after seeing a note on the dry erase board dictating the time of death as 9/15/04 and multiple fliers stating only 6 days left and a large digital marquee with red numbers rapidly counting down, i snapped out of my hoegaarden haze long enough to put two and two together and realize the xpo was delivering its own death knell.
after tempting fate and relinquishing our fountainside seats for overlapping potty breaks, darren and i lost my chair to a couple that spent the remainder of our time there not ten feet away dry humping like pubescent monkeys on ecstasy. it was too much so we left in order to get darren home in time for a night of regurgitation.
i rose early saturday to prepare for the coming of our Jew. sort of. i've decided he's been over enough times that i can really begin slacking on the appearance of my home. dating is just too much work otherwise. so he showed and we visited some of the finer vintage stores in the downtown dallas area before ditching our plans to visit the arboretum due to sweltering heat. at lula b's, i was mighty pleased to acquire a sad little pigeon-toed wooden cat in a suit as well as a tiny, partially-broken plastic jetliner with "DELTA" embossed on the wings. i have already added these two fine pieces to my flourishing Homage to Lost Mexico altar.
taking the place of the arboretum trip were fancy beverages at the mediterranean market followed by the hot new japanese horror movie ju-on (or as it's been titled in the US: jew-on). it was really fantastic because right before the movie, nakedjew inadvertently belched in my ear as a way to foreshadow the entertaining noise the corporeal spirits (whatever that is) would sputter before coming to claim their next victim. we laughed and laughed and laughed throughout the movie which made me love it and NJ hate it.
toshio say: people with white pancake foundation and black eyeliner scary!
we enjoyed the mediterranean market beverages so much, we decided to return to its neighboring restaurant... ali baba. this was where i finally pissed off the jew. we had a huge screaming match which ended with me crying and running back out to the car. i tried to speed away, but he angrily threw himself on the hood and wouldn't let go no matter how many doughnuts i spun out. the only way i was able to coax his feet back to the ground was by carefully driving him over to the xpo for his daily intake of jager and beer.
i spent sunday morning trying and trying to get the angry monkey out of my bed and out of my apartment. i am growing so weary of having to bed on my couch every time he decides he needs a place to crash. i did not force him to retrieve prized finds from my bush this time, but i did charge him six quarters before allowing him to exit.
i spent a leisurely afternoon with E sipping a monstrous bottle of gerolsteiner at the black forest cafe and inevitably dining at cosmic cafe while we hashed out our new top secret careers which will eventually lead all of us to move into the same house where we will split bills and roll in cash. i can't wait to roll in cash.