changing lives since 2003 (ms_pooka) wrote,
changing lives since 2003

mean creek. mean jew.

last night, i saw a movie at the angelika with my jewish friend nakedjew, my gay boyfriend, and E.

i arrived 5 minutes late, as usual. nakedjew and darren were already in line upstairs and NJ lied saying he had arrived 45 minutes prior. i would've been there sooner, but had stopped by my home first. it's funny because i guess i'm a little bit of a girlie girl on the inside, but simply cannot bear to admit it... even though i just kind of did. it's part of why it drives me a little nutty the way NJ has this OCD way of touching my hair. like he just can't stop himself. not that i refrain from touching his head, but if you're going to shave off your hair... you have to expect that. so by the end of most evenings, i end up looking like i've been through the ringer. but i think some of the training is starting to take effect. but anyway, it's funny because i think NJ just might be prissier than i am.

E showed up about five minutes after me... just after we looked down from our second story window (NJ likes to look down on people) and i started shouting "OH MY GOD! I CAN SEE STRAIGHT DOWN HER SHIRT! LOOK AT HER BOOBS! OH MY GOD, THERE! DID YOU SEE?!?" of course, both males joined me in staring down this girl's very generously cut tank top... all before she came up the stairs and got in line with the guy standing behind us. this is typical of my karmic paybacks.

then E (and her breasts) showed up (as we waved wildly at her from our window (and i think NJ might have been looking at her breasts as well)) and regaled us with stories of the hoods in her sophomore english classes as NJ began showing me his tempting pocket full of quarters.

my breasts felt great.

it usually feels like we're standing in line forever, but last night it hardly seemed like any time at all before we were bustling quickly to our top row seats.

NJ started to become angry with me for one of his many non-reasons that he uses to get mad at me and he tried to punish me by giving a quarter each to E and darren, but not to me. it was funny because later darren handed me his quarter to hold while he urinated and NJ got really pissed off again. hahahaha. i think i might have gotten something like 4 or 5 quarters before it was all over. that's 1-1.25 loads of laundry.

in my opinion, the movie was ho-hum. i expected this. it was free. i was okay with that. the other three monkeys said they enjoyed it. NJ said it was one of those fat boy movies and we both shouted at the top of our lungs "LIKE IN GOONIES", but i didn't get another quarter for being on the same wavelength.

the movie was called mean creek and stars a barely pubescent rory culkin. rory culkin may not carry the cache of a party monster macaulay culkin or a clare-danes-bopping kieran culkin, but i don't mind giving him a little more time to build up to it. he has an adorable face which, despite his diminutive culkin height, understandably scored him a white-blond girlfriend in the movie.

since the representatives from 102.1 The Edge wanted us to encourage our friends to come see the film (and for us to pay to see it again), i will not attempt to spoil the movie for any of you. i'm just considerate like that.

after the movie, NJ got this spacey, far-away look in his eyes as he admitted he didn't know where his car was. so, with great effort, i placed him in my car and drove in a gigantic circle around the complex until we located his car exactly 30 feet away from where mine had been.

he was very listless and kept sitting in my car saying he didn't know if he wanted to stay the night because he was tired and had to get up early. but he refused to make a decision. so we sat in the slowly-warming car for 10 + minutes as he hemmed and hawed and tried to force me to decide for him. i finally took the bull by the horns and made the decision he obviously wanted to make and suggested he spend the night in carrollton in the ever-present company of his own personal Handy Jew (if you know what i mean). he agreed and gave me two quarters and then quickly tried to make me feel guilty for telling him what he had already decided. he tried to trick me into thinking he really did want to stay with me, but he dropped a very important clue that gave his lies away... he claimed that he loves my beloved ttyki when i know for a fact that he hates her. HE HATES HER. can you believe that? (see below for proof that you simply cannot believe that).

jews and their guilt. i don't think one could exist without the other.

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