as i returned home last night from the curiosa festival and a couple of hours of bartime, i parked my car catty corner from my building and begin the walk to the gate. once i reached the tiny salon housed in an old gas station, i paused and looked up into the rafters of the portico to see two sweet pigeons roosting along the edge.
ohhhhh, i cooed at them as i clucked my tongue and watched their eyes turn towards me. their stares were intense. a little too intense maybe.
and then i remembered. i had the stink of a fallen brother all over me. i got a little nervous and decided maybe it was best to shift my gaze and slowly begin walking towards the gate again. and then, as i looked forward, i saw them. they were lining the opposite ledge. i looked left. i looked right. i was fucking surrounded by angry pigeons ready to swoop, kill, and destroy at the signaltory drop of a piece of hot dog bun!
that was all i needed. i started to run. i barely made it to the safety that swaddled me on the other side of the security gate.
as these photos were taken from inside my apartment, you can see the pigeons had selected a key position in order to track my comings and goings. i shiver to think what would have happened if i had not been forced to park my car one block up, thusly allowing me to discover their hideout. as of this morning, they have evacuated the location and removed all traces of their operation. i must remain diligent. i know their eyes still watch me.
oh sweet baby jesus! as i peered through my blinds one last time just now, i witnessed this:
apparently, since their position has been compromised, the coven has decided the time to act is now. they've sent in the bird of death and the bird of life and are preparing to make their final decision about the level of threat i present to the rest of their kind.
as a way to ensure my survival, i've sent copies of this post to the dallas morning news and the enquirer.